


The ways we've changed each other

by Can_i_hear_a_Wahoo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), The marauders are asses but it gets better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29965452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Can_i_hear_a_Wahoo/pseuds/Can_i_hear_a_Wahoo
Summary: After getting detention after a fight in potions class Remus lupin and Severus Snape start an unlikely friendship, maybe more than any of them expected
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries, but that is basically what it is, some teenage romance, building friendships and becoming better together.
> 
> I changed some stuff and added some chapters so basically a re-upload
> 
> My friend Moonstar_Child helped me by being my bet, listening to my ramblings and encouraging me ;3 Go read her awesome fics! she has some awesome DC batfam stuff :3
> 
> english is not my first language, any errors are my own. If you have any feed back i'll be greatful to hear it.

Severus stood in front of a very angry looking fifth year potions class while being given a lecture by his head of house, besides him were standing the gryffindors responsible for the present situation.

Slughorn whipped what was supposed to be an anti-paralysis potion, but actually resembled thick purplish mud, from his face. Underneath it he was red as a tomato, his eyes bulging in his anger, only exacerbated by a slight paralyzing effect from the failed potion pulling at his face muscles. Severus had seen the man irritated, annoyed even, but the head of slytherin usually made an effort to appear as an even tempered and approachable teacher. Right this moment Slughorn was fuming. 

“It's the second week of the school year and you couldn't keep yourselves from being an embarrassment to Hogwarts! In this institution we make a great effort to give you kids an education of the highest quality and year by year you take it by granted! Always making a mess of my classroom and disturbing other students!”

Slughorn continued to reprimand them while gesturing at the splattered stone walls of the dungeon, the ruined workbench and the blown up cauldron. The students around them either snickering or sending them death glares. Severus was dreading more the backslash from his own housemates, than any loss of points in on itself.

It was not his fault alone, Potter and his gang of idiots had been especially annoying that day, even going so far as to mess with his brew, making it boil over and thicken like cement. Lily, who had been his lab partner since first year, tried to calm him down, even offering to help him start over so he could sumit his potion in time. Severus should have been the better person, he should have just breathed and moved on, but when Black started laughing, the sound made his blood boil, eliminating any common sense Severus had possessed. 

He fired a stunning hex that managed to hit Pettigrew, starting a full on fight with Black and Potter. A badly aimed hex almost hit Lupin, who as usual had been keeping his distance, but the gryffindor managed to deflect it and hit Severus’ cauldron making it explode, splashing everything around it, including their potions teacher.

“I am done with this constant rivalry between all of you! Every time you are in my class something ends up in flames.” Slughorn said pointing at the five of them. “I'm taking fifty points for each of you and you will serve detention every evening for a month or never set a foot on my class ever again!”

“But I- it's all their fault, they-” Severus tried to defend himself, but Slughorn interrupted with a harsh gesture of the hand.  
“I don't care whose fault it is, Mr. Snape. As a member of the noble house of slytherin you should know better than to get into a pointless and petty confrontation! All of you will meet me at the dungeons after class and that is final!”  
\------

Severus made his way to the damp dungeon right after finishing a light dinner, he always had a weak stomach and he didn't want to throw up in case they would have to clean bathrooms or pickle viseras for Slughorn. 

The four gryffindor dunderheads were already waiting at the door. Potter and Pettigrew were laughing at something Black had said, while Lupin looked at them with a small smile on his lips. Black turned around to face Severus when he heard him approaching staring at him with his usual vitriol. 

“Hope you're happy you greasy git, because of your shit aim we can't attend quidditch practice for a month"

"It's not my fault you idiots can't keep your stupid jokes outside the classroom, and if I remember correctly it was Lupin who managed to hit my cauldron." 

“You fired first, you slimy dickhead” Black got his wand out, ready to start another fight, only stopping thanks to the arrival of Slughorn, a purring Miss Norris, and a slow moving Filch looking angry and holding a bucket full of cleaning supplies. Maybe his guess of cleaning bathrooms was not entirely wrong. 

“Potter, Black, Pettigrew, you'll be helping Mr. Filch with his chores. Lupin, Snape you will assist me with class preparations.”

“Of course the slytherin gets the softer punishment” Potter said in a resentful manner, ignoring the fact that Lupin got the same work. At least he will be with the least annoying of the boys. 

“Oh believe me Mr.Potter it will be punishment enough. Now, off you go, Lupin, Snape, follow me.” Slughorn guides them to the ingredient storage, past the labs where a barrel full of some shiny black insects waits for them.

“You will prepare these scarabs, I need you to separate the eyes, wings, and exoskeleton, discard the guts. They better be done by the time I'm back, and you better not damage any of it.” The potions master said and left the two boys alone in the damp room.

Each took a seat on either side of the workbench, Severus grabbed a small knife and started the task in silence, all in all it wasn't that bad, maybe he’ll reconsider that thought a week in, but so far it was fine.”

After a couple moments of working in silence Lupin spoke to him, regret clear on his voice. “I'm sorry, they shouldn't have messed with your work.”

“Sorry for almost hitting you.” Severus surprised himself with the answer, but he supposed the gryffindor wasn't actually part of the fight, and quickly added. “Why are you even with them? You are a good student unlike Potter and much less destructive than Black, not that is too hard to accomplish.”

“They’re my friends, they accept me no matter what… not many people in my life have done that” Lupin said with a shrug, yellow eyes sad, Severus understood the feeling, he himself only had Lily as a friend. He didn't want to admit it, but he would probably stick by Lily’s side even if she became as destructive as Black overnight. Severus decided to end the conversation then and there, no need to get sad over a stupid, overly loyal gryffindor. “Let's just finish this quickly and go.”

After only a couple of minutes, Severus noticed the gryffindor was having some trouble separating the insects properly, for what he could see the other boy’s skill with the knife was shabby at best and he kept damaging the wings or repeatedly stabbing his own hand when it slipped on the hard exoskeleton. 

Severus let out an annoyed sigh and motioned Lupin to move closer. “Here, let me show you how to use your tools before you end up losing a finger.” He proceeded to demonstrate how to scrape the insides without destroying the rest. 

“Thank you.” 

Severus felt weird at one of the marauders actually acting with some civility around him, so he just answered with the usual bitterness he reserved for the group of gryffindors. 

“I refuse to let you damage the already subpar ingredients this school provides just because you have no skill.” Instead of an offended reply or rude retort, the gryffindor only gave him an amused look and got back to work. 

Well at least the detentions will be quiet if not enjoyable at all.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As their detention went on Remus came to realize Snape wasn’t all that bad; he just didn't care too much of what other people thought of him and had a serious lack of tact, which made him sound rather rude at first. But he was a hard worker and a surprisingly good, if not nice, teacher.

He constantly helped Remus with whatever gross ingredient preparation they were assigned by Slughorn, from teaching him the proper use of different tools to how to mitigate the horrible smell of guts so they could work without vomiting, but never admitted to being kind or accepted his gratitude, opting to make some rude comment about the gryffindor’s incompetence and his refusal to deal with it for the duration of their detention, which amused Remus to no end.

He clearly was nicer than he looked, so why keep up the appearance? 

When the month’s detention came to an end he found he didn't actually want to stop these moments of quiet work, he wanted to know him better, besides… the slytherin’s help had translated into an improvement on his brewings skills, it could be a two birds with one stone sort of situation  
\-------------------------------------------------------

It was a Friday night, their last detention with Slughorn for the month had just finished and they were cleaning the last remains of dark, slimy algae from their tools when Lupin made him an unexpected offer.

“I've been thinking” 

“An amazing feat for a gryffindor indeed.” Severus said with a smirk.

“Can you tutor me at potions? You are a much better teacher than Slughorn.” Lupin continued, ignoring his jab.

Severus eyed him suspiciously “Why would you want my help? Surely there must be some other lion willing to help you.”

“I...well, I just like the way you explain things, it's easy to follow, and I could help you with care of magical creatures in return, let's be honest, you are pants at it.” 

Severus was about to decline the boy’s offer when his memory replayed an incident occurred on a lesson of last year where a particularly territorial Bowtruckle had attacked him, resulting on several scratches on his face and the loss of a good chunk of hair, along with the ridicule of being bested in a fight by such a small and “friendly” creature, even Lily found it humorous.

He had only decided to take the class because most magical creatures had some sort of useful part he could harvest if he knew how to handle them, but he had not taken into account the fact that he was not great with animals in the first place. He had mostly passed on his theoretical knowledge and help from Lily on group practices, but now that they were on fifth year the creatures they were to start handling only xxx and a few xxxx class creatures Severus was in real danger of losing a finger or two if he didn't get better at the practical part of the subject.

Severus tried to suppress a shiver at the embarrassing memory and said in his best no nonsense voice. “Alright, I suppose we can benefit mutually from this. We'll meet on Friday afternoons, but the moment I see you aren't taking it seriously we are done." 

"That's fair, thank you Severus." Lupin said to him with a friendly smile.

The casual use of his given name surprised him, an even bigger surprise was that he didn't mind, he actually quite liked how his name sounded on the other boy's voice, but never mind that. "Whatever Remus, see you next week." He was sure to regret this decision in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

They had taken an abandoned classroom near the dungeons as theirs to use. They could have used the library for the theoretical work, but Severus rather enjoyed the privacy this gave them.

It wouldn't be good for either of their reputations to be seen being civil to each other.

It was in this place that Severus realized something he didn't want to admit: Remus Lupin was not only smart, but he made an excellent teacher, he had a natural talent for it, to the point the slytherin was sure it would make a good career option for the teen. Severus was not patient or nice, he tended to get frustrated easily when something didn't go his way, but in the end the gryffindor always helped him make some kind of progress.

They had borrowed one of the school owls to practice some cleaning and diagnostic spells, as well as silencing charms they had to use next week on a Fwooper. Severus had already been bitten half a dozen times and screeched at several more.

“How is he not attacking you?! We are using the same spells.” He hated sounding like a whining child, but it was ridiculous, he was doing everything correctly, he had practiced the wand movements for an hour!

“Remember, you are directing these charms at a living, breathing creature, you have to be gentle.” Remus said as he gave the bird some pets and another treat (not that it deserved any, in Severus' opinion). “Magical creatures and animals more in tone with magic can sense what you are doing to them, a common dog might not blink twice at being cleaned with a scourgify, but this owl feels how your magic moves through him, if you are harsh it will be uncomfortable.”

“Can't we just work on an essay or work on some theory?”

“We already covered all the theory we’ll need for now.” Remus bit the tip of his finger, thinking. “Ok, close your eyes.”

“Just close them, I'm the one teaching today.” Severus gave him a small glare and closed his eyes. 

“Alright, breathe, feel your heartbeat, that's it relax.” He started to breathe deeply and slowly. “Now feel the magic inside you, visualize how the magic flows gently from your wand into the world, not just shoot it, you are not attacking it, you are looking to help, not only to be quick and practical.”

“Ok, try again. Maintain control of your magic, keep it gentle.”

Severus repeated the incantation, keeping a soothing feeling in mind, visualizing how the magic moved through the feathers. The boy closed his eyes tightly, expecting another sound of screeching, but to his surprise the owl was completely calm and clean, it's feathers slightly ruffled from the spell, but nothing more. Severus let out a relieved laugh, maybe Lupin’s methods weren't too bad after all.

“See! I told you you could do it!” The owl let out an indignant sound and looked at the gryffindor. “Yes, you did a great job too Pimpernel. Think you can make your way to the owlery on your own?” The bird took the last snack Remus offered and nipped affectionately at his finger, flying away when he opened the door.

Remus stretched and grabbed his bag, “I think we deserve a break as well.” Severus thought he was going to leave, but he just sat on the floor, his back against the wall gesturing for him to join him. They sat in an awkward silence for several minutes. “Here” Remus said, offering him a piece of chocolate, the boy already eating his own.

“Thanks.” Severus bit into it, luckily it was dark and bitter, he just couldn't stand the sweetness of milk chocolate. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had any chocolate by choice, the thought making him smile slightly.

“Of course you are the “I prefer bitter chocolate” kind of guy.”

“Sorry for having some taste, Lupin.”

“Oh come off it!” Remus said laughing “Just because you are a pureblood doesn't mean you immediately are connoisseur of everything. I assure you I know more about chocolate than anyone in this school.”

“I'm not a pure blood, but I do have more class and better taste than any gryffindor”

Remus looked a bit confused at that. “Huh, I thought all slytherins were purebloods, although I always did wonder how you became friends with Evans. Then tell me, how are your parents? I'm honestly kind of curious.”

Severus wasn't sure it was a good idea to share any information about himself with the gryffindor, he could spread it or use it to tease him later on. Maybe he should go while he has a chance….

Remus must have seen his hesitation because he quickly said. “I just want to know you better as a friend Severus, it's the honest truth.” Severus eyed him suspiciously. 

“Alright, but for everything I talk about you have to offer equivalent information.”

“Equivalent information? Are we spies now? Fine, fine” The gryffindor said in good humor and leaned against the wall once more.

“My mother is a Prince, Eileen Prince, but she was disowned after marrying my father. She was a brilliant witch in her school days E’s on almost every subject she took, Potions was her strong point, a lot of what I know comes from her old notes.”

“I guess that brilliance is hereditary, what about your Father then?”

“I don't really care for my father. He is a muggle. He doesn't like my or my mother's magic. Sometimes wonder if all muggles are that nasty.”

“I think they are just people, Severus. There's good and bad people of all kinds, I've known some cruel wizards and kind muggles. My mother is a muggle and she has never been anything but loving towards me.”

“You are a halfblood too?” It didn't come as a complete shock, but with him being friends with rich purebloods like Potter and Black, Severus just assumed Lupin to at least be of a purely magical lineage as well. 

“Uhu, my Da is a wizard, Mom is a muggle.” Remus said and took another bite of chocolate.

“And she is fine with magic?” 

“Yeah, but she doesn't understand a lot about it at times. She got really scared at my first bursts of accidental magic, but on her defense I did set fire to our dinner table on multiple occasions.” Remus made a bit of a wincing face at whatever memory had been triggered and continued. “But I think muggles are brilliant in their own regard.They have technology, they innovate. They have actual good music and books that are not all from the same two people from three generations ago.” 

“We can agree to that, I've never been a fan of Celestina Warbeck, for some reason that's practically the only thing Lily ever listens to.”

“What?” The gryffindor said with exaggerated offense, and a mocking voice dripping with sarcasm, “Who doesn't love Warbeck’s music?! People without any taste, that's who. She is a timeless genius.” Then, to Severus’ equal horror and delight, he started to sing ‘Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love’. Eliciting the first full hearted laugh he had ever let out in front of anyone other than his best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly but surely, he and Severus became somewhat civil towards each other, the privacy of their study session greatly helping with past tensions.

Remus came to think of the grumpy teen as a friend, even if Snape still reprimanded him constantly about his use of the knife "If you keep chopping the valerian root instead of mincing it will never infuse into the brew properly." or "For the last time Lupin, hold the knife properly unless you want to add some fingers into your mix!" 

The slytherin would also get exasperated about sloppy technique, grab his hand and gently show Remus how to stir properly the different shapes the recipes called for, while giving him an “are you a complete idiot?” sort of look. His methods were fairly effective, even if he definitely had to work on his tact.   
The boy was some sort of mystery to Remus at times, always trying to appear cold, snapping at him, but helping and repeating the information as many times as necessary. When his potions finally started to show some progress Severus smiled at his results approvingly and even shared with Remus some of his personal notes and experiments. 

“Since now I can trust you not to blow us to pieces I think you could have some use for this.” He had said, with a half smile on his face. 

Remus found their study sessions fascinating. The slytherin could talk endlessly about all ways he could improve every brew, new research journals he had read about, the most expensive and exotic ingredients and how they were used. He didn't understand half of the things Severus talked about when he began to ramble, but Remus liked to watch him, he had a fire to his eyes like nothing else, it made him look alive. His tutoring with Severus had truly become something to look forward to. 

However, today, as he made his way half dead to their classroom, Remus had no enthusiasm left in him. The full moon had just passed and he felt tired to the bone, the transformation taking it's usual toll on his body.

Severus had been preparing their work table when he arrived and began to complain about potions class as soon as he heard Remus enter the room but, sadly the gryffindor was not feeling good enough to enjoy it. He decided to at least sit down and rest while the slytherin finished the prep work.

"Slughorn might be a decent potioneer, but his prefered textbooks are horribly dated and unimaginative. I just don't understand why he gets mad every time I try to point something out or try to correct it!"

Remus stopped listening to his friend as his vision started to get blurry. Severus turned to him for an opinion, but instead of continuing with his complaints the slytherin moved quickly towards him and put his hand on Remus’ forehead, the cold hand felt nice against the feverish skin making him close his eyes and sigh in relief. 

“Are you feeling ill? You feel quite warm, do you want to go to the infirmary?” 

“No no, I'm fine, I'm just a bit tired. I get sick really often and have been dealing with a fever lately, nothing to worry about.” Remus lied, there was no way he was telling him the truth.

“You should go to your dormitory and sleep then, we can study another day, you'll only end up ruining the potion or getting hurt.” Even if the comment was harsh Severus actually looked a bit concerned, maybe he considered Remus his friend as well.

“Oh how nice of you to worry” Remus said with a splash of good-natured sarcasm.

Severus looked at him with serious eyes. “I might be a bastard at times, but I’m not bad enough to make you stand in front of a warm cauldron while you look like that.” The soft expression on the slytherin’s face was something he would have never associated with the usually moody teenager. 

Remus didn't know if it was the unusual tenderness the other boy showed him or the fever, but he could feel his eyes filling with tears. “I'm so useless I'm not supposed to be here. I can't even brew a damn potion!”

“What are you even talking about Remus?”

“I'm...sick, originally I was banned from coming to Hogwarts.”

“I've accepted it but I can tell my mother feels pity, my father acts guilty all the time, I'm here but they're grieving as if I'm already…” as if he was already dead, he let out a defeated sigh and continued. “They didn't expect me to be able to go to school, they say they are proud, but think I will never be capable of much more, good grades are meaningless if I don't really have a future.”

“Lupin, I don't usually say nice things to anyone, but you are a great wizard who could pursue any career, don't let other people's perceptions of you hold you back. You have too much potential to let that happen.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer.” Remus said, sniffing and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“It's fine, go and rest in your dorm, we can study another time.”

When Remus tried to get on his feet a wave of dizziness hit him, making him lose his balance. Instead of the feeling of hard rock he expected, Remus was met with a warm body pressed against his, Severus had managed to catch him in time to prevent his fall. 

“Are you ok? Do you think you can walk?” Severus asked, his voice sounding sincerely worried for once as he helped him straighten up, but before he could even answer, the other boy was draping Remus’ arm over his shoulder and grabbing him by the waist. “Here, you can lean on me.” 

“Thank you” Remus felt himself growing a bit flustered about the whole interaction.

“Don't mention it. Seriously don't, I'm already pretty unpopular with my housemates, the last thing I need is them knowing I helped a gryffindor.” The comment made Remus laugh, which apparently was the intended result as Severus seemed a bit relieved.

They made their way slowly up to the gryffindor tower, Severus complained about it being too far away from anywhere useful in the castle and made Remus rest a couple times before they reached the Fat lady’s painting.

“Ok, we are here, have a good night Remus.”

“You too Severus.”

Remus made it to his dormitory and collapsed on the bed face first. He was exhausted, but his heart kept beating hard for no reason. His mind kept going back to cold, comforting hands, and surprisingly kind black eyes. Remus sighed, rolling on his side to bury his face on the cool pillow. “This can't be happening” he muttered, of all the people he could develop a crush on it had to be Snape. The moody slytherin his friends hated. Great.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus began his week like every other morning. He woke up early, getting ready before his friends to avoid their usual craziness, not that he didn't like it, but at times it was too much too early in the morning. The brunette went down for breakfast using his last moments alone to read a novel he had borrowed from the library, while eating spoonfuls of sweet porridge. 

He didn't take the Muggle studies class, but the section dedicated to muggle literature was always interesting to explore. His mother was a muggle but he never really got the opportunity to be part of her world, it made him feel connected to something that was inherently part of him but could never experience. The worlds muggles created were fascinating, full of wonders the wizarding world didn't even conceptualize as possible, science and technology they had no interest in using, much less understanding. 

His latest find had been a mystery novel about a murder on a train, the plot so far had been pretty engaging, just gruesome enough and with bit of humor here and there.

“Moony! Hey, you left early again, do you hate us that much?” Sirius practically yelled at him as he sat down for breakfast. 

“I could certainly live without you and Peter’s snoring, I couldn't sleep anymore even if I wanted to.”

James laughed at his remark, while the other two boys faked extreme offense.

Sirius snached the book from his hands, looking unimpressed as he examined the frontpage. “Why do you like these boring muggle books?”

“You guys would find any kind of book boring, Padfoot.” Remus answered with humor. 

“Oh we are very sorry for not being intellectuals such as yourself.” said James while bowing his head apologetically.

Sirius copied the bow and used his best snob voice.“My most sincere apologies sir, you are clearly an academic of impeccable taste.” 

Remus laughed at his friend's jokes.“Just eat your breakfast you pricks.” The four gryffindors had breakfast as calmly as they were capable of. Which meant they had another playful argument that ended with Peter being used as a human shield by Sirius, while James threw them small pieces of fruit, Remus had to give up on his reading in favor of ducking. If he was lucky maybe he’ll be able to finish another chapter in History of magic.

Amongst the chaos, Remus noticed a pair of dark eyes looking at him from across the hall. Severus quickly averted his gaze, clearly embarrassed at being caught staring. The slytherin seemed anxious as if he wanted to say something but didn't know exactly what to do next, so Remus made a gesture with his head indicating the door and stood up.

Severus followed him discreetly into the hallway, and walked to a corner so they would be left alone. “What’s the matter, Snape?” Remus asked with a smile, wanting to ease some of his friend’s nerves.

“Here.” Severus said, shoving a small cardboard box into his hands. Remus opened the box. The inside was divided in small square partitions,each one holding a vial.

“What is this? Should I be worried?” Remus asked while faking concern, but genuinely curious as to what the content of the box was. “Are you trying to kill me already? I thought we were starting to become friends.”

“I do have an interest in poisons, but that is besides the point.” Severus looked at him with a serious expression and waved his hand as if dismissing the comment.

“Now I'm definitely worried.” 

“Don't be dramatic. The yellow is supposed to help with the fevers, the green is for the tiredness. Make sure to eat before you take any of them, and don't have more than two each day.” 

He looked between the box and Severus, warmth and happiness filling his chest at the gesture. 

“I just felt the need to brew this weekend, it's nothing.” The slytherin said, shrugging and looking away. Remus secretly thought it was rather cute he didn't want to admit he was doing something nice. 

“Thank you, really appreciate it Severus.” Remus was about to give in to the alarming need to hug the frowning boy when he heard Sirius’ voice calling for him.

“Moony! Where are you mate. Oh there- Good morning Snivellus.” Sirius said with a slightly malicious smile, then looking over his shoulder and calling out for his other friends. “Wormtail, Prongs, look who’s here!”

“Black.” Severus greeted bitterly.

James looked between the two of them. “What are you bothering Remus for, you git?”

“Why don't you keep your nose out of my business.”

“Like you could talk about noses.” Sirius remarked.

“Yeah, big nosed prick” Peter said laughing. 

Remus looked at them slightly horrified, he didn't want to start a fight but he couldn't let his friends keep this up. “Hey guys, why don't you go to class? We are just talking about some boring potion stuff, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Yeah, sure...” James said, all of them turning to go. 

“Filthy snake, he is so disgusting not even other slytherins like him.” Sirius mumbled.

Remus thought the whole thing was over when a flash of light struck Sirius on the back, making him fall face first. 

Before he knew it, hexes were flying all around him. His patience wearing thin immediately. He couldn't believe Snape would do something like that when he had already made them stop!

“Enough!” The shock of listening to such an angry scream from the usually calm gryffindor enough to stop the fighting.

He pointed a finger at Severus. “If you want them to stop bothering you, then you should stop hexing people when they have their backs turned! If you claim to be mature then act like it!” 

Remus turned to the three smirking gryffindors behind him, already making comments like “Yeah Moony tell it to the slimy snake.”

“Oh don't look so damn happy you gits!” He felt anxious at the prospect of his friends getting mad at him, but it was his duty as a prefect to do so. Remus felt guilty at all the times in the past that he didn't do anything to stop the constant teasing. “Sirius, James, Peter, ten points from gryffindor each, for starting a fight in the hallway.”

“But he was bothering you!” Sirius exclaimed. 

“He was not. We were having a completely normal conversation until you came looking for a fight.”

“But Moony, He’s Snape! A slytherin! You can't trust the greasy git.” said James looking alarmed.

“Yeah.”Petter yelled. 

“I know who he is and I can be friends with whoever I bloody well like it!” He stormed out, the rest of the marauders following him down the hall.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus felt guilty. It was a strange sensation for someone that usually didn't care about other people or how they saw him.

He had never seen Remus so angry in all these years. Even worse he didn't only look mad at Severus for throwing that hex, he looked hurt.

Lily had reprimanded him before for picking fights with the gryffindors, she had seemed annoyed, even angry, but never hurt or disappointed. The marauders were her housemates, but she found them almost as annoying as Severus did, even contributing with one or two insults herself when the occasion arrived. Still he felt a sting of shame at all the possible inner-house tension his actions may have caused her in the past.

He had never seen the group of gryffindors as anything else other than enemies, but they were Remus’ best friends. Of course he would be hurt, Severus knew he would be if Remus decided to pick a fight with Lily.

Now it was Saturday once again, Remus hadn't talked to him after the incident at the beginning of the week. He hadn't actually realized how much he had come to enjoy the boys company. In reality not much time had passed, but he truly missed the small conversations between periods or after dinner, his friday had actually been miserable when the gryffindor hadn't shown up for their study session. 

He needed to fix this. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus didn't know how to feel. He was mad at his friends for being asses to Severus; he was mad at Severus for responding with violence; and above all he was fucking furious at himself for only giving a damn now that he cared about both parties. 

He always stayed at the back when his friends were teasing the slytherin, never participating directly, but he never attempted to put a stop to it. He would tell himself that Snape gave just as well as he got, that the slytherin was just a nasty person and therefore his friends were just keeping him in line somehow, he would even laugh at some of their jokes. The truth was that his friends always started the fights, Severus certainly didn't back off once he was confronted, but he usually kept to himself.

What may have started as some childish rivalry at first, was getting out of hand, and he had allowed it. He had been avoiding Severus the whole week, too ashamed to face him. Remus needed to talk to him, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to make sure they were still friends.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus had looked everywhere for Severus, he was not in any of his usual spots. He wasn't reading in the library, not at the lake or talking with Evans, and Remus was running out of options. The gryffindor decided to try one last place in the castle before giving up for the day. 

He found Severus inside their classroom. The boy was quickly passing from one end of the room to the other while he...was talking to himself? 

“You were right. I was really immature. I promise not to use violence against your friends?” The slytherin looked frustrated. “Ugh, no, no, no! Why is this so hard?!”

Severus let himself fall on a chair with a defeated sigh. “Remus, I'm really sorry.”

For a moment the gryffindor thought he had been caught but then realized the other boy kept speaking to the empty classroom. 

“I lost my temper, but I shouldn't have attacked them.” Severus said with clear regret in his voice. “I didn't want to hurt your feelings with my actions. I don't want to lose you as my friend.”

“I accept your apology.” At the sound of his voice Severus jumped from the chair as if it burned and turned to look at Remus.

“W-what are you doing here?!”

“I was looking for you.”

“Why?”

Remus looked at him and touched the back of his own neck. “I actually wanted to apologize too.” He let a nervous laugh at the slytherin’s confused expression.

“You don't need to d-”

“Yes, I do.” He interrupted. “I'm sorry for never stopping the guys from teasing you, especially Sirius, he’s always ready to start a fight and he kept pushing you. I hate to admit it, but he deserved it.”

Severus looked at him in the eye and extended his arm to shake his hand. “Apology accepted, friends?” 

Remus considered taking the slytherin's hand for a fraction of second, but instead he just wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug, didn't want this to feel as something formal. Severus was stiff as a board for a moment, eventually sliding his arms around Remus as well. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
Severus was happy at having resolved the situation with Remus, it felt as solidifying their friendship somehow. And definitely nothing more. No matter how much he enjoyed being hugged by the gryffindor or how long they had actually stayed like that. 

Severus shut those thoughts up. He had something more important to do, another person to see.

He found her reading alone on her favorite spot in the castle.

Lily sat on the ledge of a huge window of one of the castle towers, her auburn hair framing her face as she leaned into her book. He never understood what the girl found so relaxing about the place. 

He tapped her shoulder, earning a bright smile when she realized who it was. “Hullo Sev.”

“Hi Lily.” Severus looked at her and took a deep breath before speaking. “I apologize.” Severus looked at those green eyes filled with confusion at his statement. He moved to hug her tightly, the embrace being returned wholeheartedly to his relief.

“Apologize for what? What is this about Severus?” She laughed in her confusion. 

“I just had a lot to think about and I realized the house loyalty and fights got to my head. I never actually stopped to think about how my actions could hurt you and our friendship.” 

“I promise to be a better friend to you Lily.”

“I accept your apology Sev.” She said and hugged him even tighter. “I just worry about you sometimes.” 

“I know.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flowers  
> Snape said: Be gay-Do crimes

A lonely gryffindor made his way through the corridors, completely abandoned at this time of the morning, the lack of people making the cold much more noticeable. He was technically not breaking curfew since it was already the next day, but every other living person in the castle was still sleeping, even the paintings were annoyed at the small light emanating from his wand, making some rather rude comments at the sleepy teenager. Remus hugged himself trying to keep some of his warmth, walking a bit faster, wanting to get to the greenhouses as soon as possible, he didn't know how he got convinced to do this, he wasn't even sure he had actually agreed to it in the first place. 

Such a miserable start to his weekend made him regret becoming friends with Severus Snape.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
The day before Remus had been studying at the library when the overly excited slytherin practically came crashing into him. 

“Lupin! There you are, I've been looking for you.” Severus shouted, earning himself a reprimand from the lady at the desk, which he ignored in favor of smashing an open book into Remus’ nose. He would have been angry if it hadn't been so funny seeing the grumpy teenager behave like a child on christmas morning. Remus let out a laugh and pushed the book away from his face to look at Severus.

“What has you this happy?” Remus asked with genuine curiosity. 

“I need your assistance. ”

“You are happy because you need my help?” This had the gryffindor confused, because no one would be happy because of that, especially Severus. 

“Tomorrow is October first” Severus stated with confidence, as if that explained anything at all. Once again not answering his question. 

“Yeah…” Remus said, nodding “...so?” His question appeared to irritate the slytherin slightly, but he limited himself at rolling his eyes at Remus in stangely fond manner.

“So, we have an unique chance to get this,” Severus said pointing at an image on the open page.

“A flower?”

“Not just any flower, argentum tenebris, the silver bloom. One of the rarest plants in all the United Kingdom, it only blooms once a year on the first day of October and then withers. A rare potion ingredient.” Severus looked at the image with some strange kind of fondness, the spark of excitement clear on those dark eyes.

“I've never had a chance to see it in person and tomorrow is perfect since it's a weekend! We'll meet at the greenhouses at 4:30 in the morning!”

“We what?!”

“Don't be late!” He shouted and ran from the library.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus spotted a figure near the entrance of greenhouse number six, Severus was actually standing straight, the slytherin was wearing his school robes over a faded black shirt and really old jeans, looking more awake and content than he had ever seen him outside the lab. Remus, whose feelings had been conflicting since Severus had helped him, felt his chest tighten at the sight, only getting worse as the dark haired teen approached him with a smile, making him forget all of the previous regret. It will become increasingly harder to deny Severus anything knowing that the smallest of smiles would be a result. 

"Good morning Remus". At Remus half-hearted greetings and wave of the hand he added with a touch of humor " Having problems keeping awake?" 

“Ugh why did you ask me to help?” He said in a sleepy voice. 

“Because I needed an assistant, and well, you are my friend.”

“Oh yeah? If you like exploiting your friends then why isn't Lily here?”

“Oh Merlin, no. You think I'm crazy enough to try and wake that girl before the sun is up?! I don't have a death wish, Lupin.” Severus shivered, probably recalling a past incident. 

“Come to think of it, WHY do we have to do this so early on a saturday?” Remus felt genuinely curious, after all, wouldn't it be easier if they had Professor Sprout to help them?

“Because not even the staff expect teenagers to get up at four in the morning on a weekend only to enter the forbidden forest. Only Filch might be that paranoid, but he has to sleep at some point.”

The gryffindor was taken aback by that.“Wait, we're going to the forest?”

“Oh as if you and your group of gryffindors had never broken that rule.” Severus scoffed.

“I thought we were going to one of the greenhouses.”

“Don't be daft Remus, those ingredients are for school uses only. Besides, midnight blooms only grow near active fairy nests.” The slytherin said as if it should be obvious for anyone with a brain. 

“How are we even going to find a fairy nest in the first place?” 

“Oh, I borrowed Kettleburn’s notes on the fairy population near Hogwarts and his map for the forbidden forest. It should be enough.” 

“How did you convince him to lend them to you? Kettleburn loves his research.”

“Perhaps "borrow" is not the right word.” The slytherin said as if he hadn't thought of it until now. 

“You stole from Kettleburn?!” Remus was slightly scandalized at the idea of Severus Snape breaking this many rules in just one morning. He wondered just how would his housemates react if they found out.

“Stop judging my methods and show some of that Gryffindor courage.” Apparently Severus was still full of surprises. Remus was half excited to go into the depths of the forest with the sneaky serpent and half dreading having to look everywhere for rare flowers.

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
The forest made him anxious, he knew he had been inside the forest multiple times, his friends had told him various anecdotes of their adventures on the nights of full moon, but he had never gone this far as himself.

The place was undoubtedly gorgeous, the air was clear and the songs of early birds could be heard all around them, however the menacing air of the dark forest prevented Remus from fully enjoying the view. 

Severus on the other hand seemed to be completely immersed in the task at hand, his eyes burning with determination as he guided them. 

They walked around the forest for what felt like an eternity, having already gone to three different spots on Kettleburn's map with no luck when Severus let out a gasp. 

Remus turned to look at his friend in confusion when he realized Severus staring at the top of a tree with awe. 

A multitude of silver flowers shined as if made of moonlight, a striking contrast to the thin black vines that wrapped themselves around the tree trunk. 

“Oh they are beautiful… but, why are they up there?”

“They are a parasite, kind of like a mistletoe.” Severus said, not looking away from the flowers. “They are perfect.”

“It's a shame you can't grow them in a garden.” Remus said, mesmerized by the shining plant. 

“Wait here while I get them.” 

“What?!” Said for the hundredth time that morning. Apparently it was becoming the word of the day. 

“I have to climb, I can't pick them with magic, I don't want to risk altering their properties in the slightest. Be a good assistant and wait for me to toss them to you.”

Severus shed his outer robes despite the cold and started to climb the tree as Remus watched him make his way up slowly. His heart stopped every time the other boy’s feet slipped slightly or had to jump into a faraway branch. The slytherin was being damn reckless, but Remus didn't want to look away.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus moved from branch to branch harvesting the delicate flowers, which released an intoxicating fragrance and a light dusting of pollen at the slightest disturbance, the small particles bright enough to resemble miniature stars, making it hard to concentrate from the sheer beauty of it. 

He was just thrilled. The plant was an excellent specimen, not only were there numerous experiments he would finally get to try, but he could sell most of the batch at Hogsmeade. The owner of Dogweed and Deathcap usually bought the fruits of his expeditions around the forbidden forest at a fair price and without asking many questions. If he was lucky, he might be able to send his mother a good amount of money and have some spare, perhaps even enough to actually get something for Lily this christmas.

Severus did his best being careful not to damage anything, it would be a shame to accidentally kill it or interfere with it's pollination process. Hopefully the temperamental plant would take hold of the tree for another year. He was rather satisfied, having managed a good amount of flowers, as well as some small cuttings from the vine itself. After making sure everything was stashed properly, Severus closed the bag and called for the gryffindor that waited below. 

“Remus, I'm going to toss this to you, please be careful with it.”

“Yeah sure, just come down already.” The sandy haired boy said, looking quite anxious. 

Just as Severus let go of his bag his left foot slipped, making him tumble down as well. Everything happened too quickly, one moment he was on the tree and the next his vision went dark. His ears were buzzing from the fall, he had probably hit his head on the way down going by the ache at his right temple.

He slowly started to make sense of the sound around him, realizing it was Remus calling his name frantically while holding him up by the shoulders. 

“Severus? Severus wake up, are you alright?” 

Severus let out a small groan opening his eyes only to be met by a look of relief and concern he had never seen on the gryffindor's face. 

“Snape!? God damn it, I told you it was a stupid idea to climb that damn tree!” 

“Are the flowers ok? Were they smashed?”

“Are you seriously asking that?” 

“Well, are they fine?” 

“Yes, I managed to catch them, they are fine.” Remus let out a small, defeated laugh.

“Thanks.”

“And you dare call gryffindors reckless idiots.”

“I never said I wasn't one.” Severus said with a half smile despite the pain.

They started to laugh together at the comment and before he knew it, Remus was hugging him hard, Severus freezing at the unexpected embrace. The gryffindor let him go after a couple seconds, looking as if the hug had been just as much of a surprise to him, an awkward smile on his face.

“Uhm, sorry I was just really worried.” Remus stood up and offered a hand to the slytherin. “Here let me help you.”

“I'm fine, just move so I can stand.” Severus just wanted to make his way out of the forest without further humiliation. But as soon as he put some pressure on his left foot his resolve crumbled, his ankle was definitely sprained. Severus let out a hiss of pain and Remus was immediately beside him, supporting him so he wouldn't fall again. 

“I told you, you won't be able to walk. Here, let me carry you, it will be faster that way.” The gryffindor said, sounding genuinely concerned as he offered his hand once more.

“Fine, but if you tell anyone you will regret it.”

“Yes, yes now stop being a baby and hop on.” 

Severus positioned himself grabbing onto the gryffindor’s shoulders, his legs around Remus waist to keep himself in place. To his surprise he had been lifted with ease, Severus knew he wasn't that heavy, but still, the boy apparently hid surprising strength under those shabby robes that made him look so skinny. 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem.” Remus said sincerely. 

They kept quiet for most of the trip back. Severus definitely didn't know what to do in such a weird situation. 

The warmth of the body pressed against his was rather nice, the smell for the cold forest mingled with the spicy scent of the gryffindor’s soap, making his head fuzzy. It was such a pleasant feeling, he could get used to it. Ugh he must have hit his head hard. 

Severus could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his cheeks burn. The slytherin groaned in embarrassment and hid his face on Remus’ back. 

Remus tensed at the sound, possibly thinking it was made out of pain, and reassured him in a gentle voice “ Don't worry we are almost in the castle, I’ll take you to Madam Pomfrey.”   
\-----------------------------------------------------------

Eventually they made their way to the infirmary, the place seemed empty. For which the slytherin was grateful, he did not want anyone to see him being carried around by a gryffindor. 

“Madam? We need help, Severus is hurt.” Remus called for the nurse in a worried tone. 

“Yes, Mr. Lupin? What happened to him?” Madam Pomfrey eyed Remus suspiciously. She had treated Severus as a result of the Marauders pranks before and probably assumed this to be the case.

“I tripped and hurt my ankle, nothing serious.” He said quickly in hopes that the nurse would only prescribe a painkiller and let him go. 

“He also hit the back of his head real hard.” Remus added, condemning Severus to a night of observation. 

“Put him in bed if you would be so kind.” She said pointing at the one near the windows. 

“There.” Remus said as the deposited Severus in the pure white sheets. “Good thing we were together, otherwise you'd be trapped in the forest.” The gryffindor smiled at him, still looking a bit concerned.

“Thank you.” Severus avoided the amber eyes looking at him, he felt like his heart was pounding out of his ribcage and wanted nothing more than for it to stop.

Lucky for him, Madam Pomfrey came back with supplies. “Mr. Lupin, please give us some space while I dress this boy's wounds.”

“Yes Madam”. Lupin said and went away.

The nurse fixed his ankle, putting some balm and wrapping it tight with bandages. He had various cuts and bruises that were treated quickly. 

“That's done, you are not to put weight on that foot for a week, it was an ugly sprain.” The woman reprimanded in a strict manner. “Now lean back on the bed, I have to check that head of yours.” 

Severus closed his eyes, laying back in the bed. He heard an unknown spell and felt some pressure around his head, as the witch hummed at whatever results the diagnosis showed. Either way, with a head injury he was sure to spend the night, thankfully the flowers had a stasis spell so they should hold long enough for him to separate and dry them properly in the morning.

“Well Mr. Snape, you'll probably experience some headaches but it's nothing to worry about, you just need to rest in here until tomorrow.”

He was about to answer with his usual sarcasm when another voice interrupted him. 

“Great to hear you are not dying after all.” Remus had come back. 

“Don't you have some other friends to spend your weekend with?” Severus said, trying to ignore the warm feeling growing on his chest. 

“I figured you would be bored spending the rest of your day locked up in here.” The gryffindor said with an amused smile. “I also wanted to catch up on some reading.” He added tossing Severus a green, hardcover book. 

Remus turned to the nurse and addressed her politely. “Madam, is it ok if I keep Severus company?”

“It's not visiting hours…” The nurse said, about to reject the boy’s request, but Remus kept looking at her, making some ridiculous 'puppy eyes' at the old lady. “Oh fine Remus. Only because it's empty in here, but you need to go by dinner time at the latest.” The nurse pinched the boy's cheek in a motherly way and went to her office. 

“I didn't know Remus Lupin could pull some strings around this place.” Severus said this only half joking, the display of familiarity having actually been quite a surprise. 

“When you come to the infirmary as often as I do you end up making some friends.” The gryffindor only shrugged at his comment and rubbed a pink scar on top of his hand. 

“I can see that, very slytherin of you.” Severus looked at the book he was given, surprised to find it was actually a muggle book. "Sherlock Holmes"?” Severus had heard about the character before, of course he did, he was not entirely unaware of muggle literature, but he had never read the book in which he appeared. 

“I thought you might like to expand your horizons, you can't only read about school stuff, and Muggle murder mysteries are fascinating.”

Remus sat beside him on a rather uncomfortable looking chair and began to read his own book. They stayed like that for several hours in a companionable silence, only breaking it occasionally to complain about plot points or chat about possible outcomes for the mysteries. It felt peaceful.

At times he would catch himself staring at the gryffindor. Severus' only hope of not being caught was that Remus was completely engulfed by the book, his yellow eyes devouring it eagerly. 

After they had some lunch, Madam Pomfrey lent them a chessboard. Severus was happily surprised to find that Remus was actually a decent opponent, maybe even a bit of a challenge. He had never had a friendly match, Lily didn't care much for strategy games, preferring more physical activities and it was rare for slytherins to think of any kind of competition as "just friendly". 

Before he knew it, it was dinner time and Remus had to go. This was the most time they had spent together almost completely alone, it had been easy and relaxing, maybe he should fall from trees more often. Severus shut down the thought as the boy stretched his back and arms, probably stiff from the infirmary chair, and wished him a good night.

When he was left alone for the night, Severus pulled at his hair in frustration. Ever since their stupid fight and reconciliation the warm feelings and idiotic thoughts didn't go away! This whole day only served to make them even worse! Why was he so nice, why did he even care?! This couldn't be happening, this was Lupin! One of the Marauders for Merlin’s sake! Being friends with the gryffindor was bad enough on it's own.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus was walking towards the DADA classroom, happy that it was his last lesson for the day, especially after a particularly draining arithmancy class. 

At the entrance he was greeted by the sound of a strendorous laugh. Lily and Severus were sitting closely together looking at what seemed to be some sort of magazine Lily was holding; the red head laughed freely while Severus seemed to be fighting a smile with all of his power. The scene only added to the mix of confusing feelings that Remus had been dealing with as of lately.

He felt an urge to join the pair with the excuse of giving Severus his notes back, but decided against it as he saw his own friends quickly approaching and opted to take his usual seat with the other gryffindors instead. Severus was almost as passionate and talented as Defense as he was at potions, his notes for the class had been a helpful guide for some of the trickier spells and concepts. Severus actually kept a couple muggle spiral notebooks for his classes as well as some ballpens, “They are much more practical than carrying a bunch of loose parchment , he had said when he saw Remus’ look of surprise. He smiled fondly at that small fact about the boy and wondered what the other slytherins might think about that.

He was pulled away from his thoughts by the voice of their current DADA professor, Mr.Webb, an old, retired auror, but who still had enough energy to keep a bunch of teens in line.

“Today we are having a practical evaluation.” A collective groan was heard across the classroom. “I know, I know, but once you are finished you can go for the evening.”

They made a line outside the classroom door, entering one by one. Some came out cheery from performing well, other with heavy steps, some looking happy at finishing their day a bit earlier.

Eventually Remus' turn came and went, he just had to practice some offensive and defensive spells on a mannequin, nothing too hard if you had all the basic ones mastered, even got some praise from the professor. When he was out he saw Severus still waiting almost at the end of the line with some other slytherins, Remus gave him a sympathetic smile and waved him goodbye. 

Once he was almost all the way up his dormitory, Remus realized he still had the notes Severus had lent him last week. Cursing internaly he decided to make his way back, hopefully the slytherin would still be around. When he was almost at the classroom Remus heard Severus shouting at someone.

“What? Why would I be punished?! I did nothing wrong. You said it was impressive work!”

Remus moved closer to the door, he felt bad for eavesdropping, but his curiosity had won.

“Mr.Snape, you are clearly a smart fella and rather gifted at this subject. I am going to give you full marks for this practice. However, you have to understand that what you did was terribly dangerous and reckless.” Mr.Webb said with his raspy voice.

“What is the point of knowledge if we are not brave enough to experiment with it, to innovate?!”

“You can't experiment with anything remotely dark! Are you insane, young man?” Shouted a man, who he quickly recognized as Slughorn. “What if you hurt someone?!” Remus felt a chill running down his spine at the mention of dark magic. What had Severus done?

“Nothing was going to happen, I did my research.”

“Good to know you can do proper research.You’ll need it to write a fifty inches long essay on ethics, dark magic and the dangers of it for next week.” Profesor Webb said in a calm, but strict voice.

“I am not doing that.”

“Would you rather cost your house a hundred points and clean cauldrons for the rest of the year?” Slughorn said sternly. 

“Fine.” The boy said, frustration clear on his voice as he walked away.

The door suddenly opened, an angry looking Severus froze when he saw Remus standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to return this.” Said, gesturing with the notebook on his hand. “Are you fine? I heard shouting.” Remus was genuinely worried about his friend.

“Yeah, I'm just...” Severus let out a defeated sigh. “Lets just go, I don't want to talk in here.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
They walked quietly until they reached the door to their classroom, Severus clearly wanted some privacy. The classroom, despite all it’s dust and cold walls, had come to feel like a safe place to both of them. Away from the worries of their daily lives.

Severus took an old, discolored chair that creaked loudly when he sat down and let his bag hit the floor. Remus sitting on the table in front of it, his feet dangling, one of the advantages of being in a forgotten place like this was that he didn't have to worry about how they decided to use the furniture or how much noise they made.

Remus looked down at the gloomy teenager in front of him with curiosity. “So what happened? I thought you did really well.”

“I used a spell of my own.” Severus said, looking a bit apprehensive.

“Severus! that 's awesome. I didn't know you liked spell creation!” He was genuinely impressed, not many adult witches or wizards were able to create new spells that actually worked as intended. The fact that he had managed to do so as a fifth year was crazy.

The boy smiled shyly at him.“Thanks… the problem is that professor Webb said it could be considered dark because of the physical damage it caused. He said the point was to incapacitate our ‘enemy’ so I did. I don't get what is the big deal.” Severus was clearly frustrated about the teacher's reaction. 

Remus felt his body tense up, he had heard the rumors, but he didn't think they were true, even less now that he knew Severus better. He wasn't someone willing to use dark magic to hurt others, he knew it. “Is it true then? That you practice dark spells? Everyone says you knew all about dark magic since you began attending Hogwarts at eleven…”

“It's not entirely false….Before Hogwarts, my only contact with the wizarding world was through a couple of old books my mom kept from the Prince library, most of them were about ancient spells, potions and dark curses.” Severus sounded a bit worried. 

“I used that to my advantage when I got sorted into Slytherin. As a halfblood, having that sort of knowledge earned me a bit of respect among some of the older guys. So I just let them make rumors about me.” The boy shrugged as if it wasn't important.

Remus looked at him, remaining calm as he talked.“Severus, I'm not going to judge you for researching whatever you find of interest, but you have to be careful, your standing with a couple of housemates is not worth putting yourself in danger.” He didn't want the boy to feel persecuted, but it was not the lightest of subjects.

“I would never use it to hurt anyone, I haven’t even tried to cast any of the curses I would get expelled if I did. Ugh I don't know why I'm even explaining this, you are just going to get mad like Lily did.” Severus said in a defensive tone. 

Remus made a move to grab Severus' hand so the boy would look up at him. He understood the need for approval, he knew what wanting to be accepted felt like, or even just not wanting to be completely ignored. 

“It's not about other people, it's about you, Severus. I'm worried about you getting hurt somehow. Hundreds of wizards have been corrupted before, even if you think you are not like them you must admit that it's fairly easy to succumb to dark magic. I'm not mad, I just care about you, you are my friend and I bet Lily thinks the same way.” Severus was looking at him quietly, like he didn't believe what he was hearing. 

To try to lift the mood Remus said. “Besides, if you get expelled, who will yell at me for chopping ingredients incorrectly, critique my horrible writing and wake me up at ungodly hours to use me as an assistant?”

Severus let out a brief laugh. “I knew you only befriended me because of the benefits.” 

“Between my charming personality and musical talent I'd say you are the one who is getting all the benefits.” Remus let go of Severus' hand and touched his own chin, as if thinking something very seriously. "You know, I could help you with that essay you have to write and then we would be even…" 

"I suppose you could…" 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus was laying on his bed, the lights slightly dimed, a green hue coming from a window from which you could see the black lake projecting a soft light, as the events of the day kept playing on his mind. 

When the Defense professor had said to use any spell he knew to attack the objective he had used everything they had seen in class, but he wanted to do more, he found himself actually wanting to impress his professor. He had started the process of creating sectumsempra long ago as a way to protect himself, something that could not only incapacitate, but that could scare other enemies away. He was just being practical, he hadn't really stopped to think of how it would actually look when he used it on someone else, all previous tests had been done using a pillow after all. Severus was just excited about having his spell actually work!

When he had tried it, Professor Webb had been really impressed and had congratulated him, and asked him to stay after the last couple students had finished. When he saw Slughorn in the room, he had been hopeful, maybe now the head of his house would actually acknowledge him as someone with potential. But the man had only been mad, scared, looking at him cautiously as if he were to turn crazy at any second and start attacking his classmates. 

The conversation with Remus was almost the exact opposite. There had not been fear on those amber eyes, only genuine concern about Severus’ well being. He knew this was stupid, feeling this way could be another weakness, to change his mind about certian subjects only because someone had shown him a bit of kindness; but he couldn't bring himself to care when the gryffindor smiled at him with such warmth.

The only reason why he had even started to really delve into the dark arts was because of his housemates, he wanted protection, he wanted to impress them, to be respected. Now it seemed kind of pointless when Remus was offering all of that freely and gladly, when Lily had always been there for him. 

The sound of someone shouting his name made him sit up in an instant, his previous thoughts completely forgotten.

“Snape!” Avery and Rosier had entered the dorm, looking annoyed, both boys had never been too friendly to him, but at least they left him alone for the most part.

“We didn't see you at dinner, where were you? Slughorn kept bothering us about you.”

“I was doing some homework with a friend.” He answered, trying to make it not to be a big deal.

Avery humed disapprovingly. “Which one? The disgusting mud blood or the pathetic gryffindor?” Severus felt anger fill his whole body at the insults thrown at his friends, but decided to keep quiet, no need to get in a fight right now.

“I don't know which one would be worse!” Rosier let out a bark of laughter. “You have some shit criteria for your friends.”

“I know you are just a Halfblood, but If you insist on associating with lions why not at least choose the ones who have some value to them?” Avery said as he laid on his own bed, Roiser laughed along.

Serus only turned around and tried to fall asleep without much success as the bag of mixed emotions inside his head kept bothering him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
The next weekend Severus woke up early, having promised Lily to work together on their transfiguration homework. They had a quick breakfast and made their way towards the library, chatting about their latest assignments, when Lily accidentally bumped into a couple of girls walking down the hall. When they turned, Severus recognized them as some of his housemates.

“I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention.” Lily quickly said, slightly flustered. 

“We can tell.” One of the girls responded, pushing Lily away from her, disgust clear on her face. “Apparently mudbloods can't even walk properly.” 

“Just like animals, your parents might as well be swines” Added the other, earning a giggle from her friend. “You shouldn't be allowed to come here, it's just a waste of space honestly.” 

He could see Lily’s cheeks color with a blush and tears quickly gathered in her eyes. The insult had clearly affected her. Severus put a hand on her shoulder, trying to contain his anger and looked at the girls with the best condescending mask he could muster.

“Ainsworth, Paxton.” He said in a cold voice. “Last time I checked, you two had some of the lowest scores in our grade, maybe you should reconsider who the 'waste of space' at this castle actually is. I recommend you stop being insuferable arseholes and use your time on something better.”

“Whatever Snape, go be with your muddy girlfriend.” The girls went away, offended.

Once they were turned, Severus made sure to hit them with a toe-nail growing hex, being a bit too pleased at their squeals of horror, and turned to Lily. “Are you alright, Lily?” He hated seeing his usually cheerful friend so distraught.

“Yes Sev, I'm fine, thank you.” She said, wiping some stray tears from her cheeks. “You know I can usually handle myself… I just really don't like that...word. It's worse than Tuney calling me names for being a witch.”

Severus felt guilty, he was so used to hearing that word all the time in his common room that it was easy to forget how much it could hurt someone. How much it actually hurts his best friend. Severus swallowed the feeling and reassured Lily. “They are just a bunch of idiots, Lily, don't listen to them.”

“It's fine, let's just go.” the girl said with a small sniff. 

“You know...I could be persuaded into a friendly game of quidditch...” He said in a nonchalant manner, he knew Lily loved to fly almost as much as he hated it.

“But we were supposed to-”

“We can always start tomorrow.” Severus shrugged. “Is not as if transfiguration was the hardest subject.”

“What are we waiting for then?” Lily gave him a bright smile and promptly dragged him towards the outside of the castle.

As he was being manhandled by the ginger, Severus couldn't help but to feel stupid for not realizing how much he was sacrificing for people that were never going to look at him as an equal, as someone worthy. They were just like his father, Petunia, or even Black, wasn't about them being purebloods or muggles, it was about them thinking some people deserved to be beneath them in some way or another. He had been an idiot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we add the fluff *pours* OH SHIT NO THAT WAS ANGST. Well maybe if I make it hurt comfort no one will notice...

Remus had gone down the small passage and up the wooden stairs to the Shrieking Shack, the old house was much the same as the previous month perpetually dusty and filled with a slightly moist air that stuck to your skin.

He made his way to one of the rooms, already dreading what was to come, his muscles already starting to feel a bit tense and his bones aching. Remus undressed himself, not bothering to close the door, the wolf would probably just break it if he tried to lock it in. Once his clothes and shoes were hidden in an attempt to spare them from becoming chew toys, Remus sat on the floor, holding his knees up to his chest and waited for the moon.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus woke up in the hospital wing as usual, covering his eyes from the brightness of the afternoon sun coming into his room. The boy laid on soft white sheets, the smell of disinfectant permeated the air, his head ached and his vision was still a bit blurry, but he still managed to notice a couple of things as he woke up.

The first one was that his skin was actually what reeked of antiseptic, the slight sting in various places alerted him to multiple new scratches all over his body, the second thing he noticed was the tight bandages on his left foot that prevented him from moving his ankle. “Great.” Remus murmured to himself in annoyance. 

He looked up at the sound of a door opening and saw Madam Pomfrey approaching him, a tray with what looked like a bowl of broth and a glass of water floating behind her. “Good morning mister Lupin.” she greeted softly, directing the tray to the bedside table. “Let’s take a look at you, shall we?”

“Good morning Madam.” Remus said quietly, not really wanting to talk, but also not wanting to be rude to the nurse. As he tried to sit up he was stopped by a sharp pain on his abdomen that made Remus let out a groan of discomfort. The gryffindor looked down to see some blood seeping through his shirt.

“Careful dear, I think it would be better if you didn't move much while your wounds heal this time around.” The mediwitch moved to gently push Remus back into bed, lifting his shirt to reveal a series of gashes covered in gauze along his torso, the wolf probably made them as he was changing back. At least his face had been spared this time around. “I just hate curse wounds, they are so pesky.”

The nurse clicked her tongue as if disapproving of the wounds for having reopened and started to clean the blood. “I'm afraid your transformation will only be getting worse until you reach adulthood.” Pomfrey stroked his hair gently, giving him a sad smile that Remus tried and failed to reciprocate. “But don't worry, I’ll help you as much as I can.”

Remus' only answer was a short nod and let the witch finish her work. After she was done he was left alone again, grateful for the curtains that gave him some semblance of privacy.

His muscles were sore, but now that his wound had been tended to, his pain wasn't too bad. That morning the physical pain was not his biggest issue. 

The days after the moon that would leave him sore and full of fresh scars were not as bad as most would think. Remus had no issue dealing with all of that, he had been doing so for almost twelve years. What he really couldn't stand were the times when he just felt numb. As if the morning sun had not only taken Wolf with its arrival, but Remus himself as well. He was just so….tired.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Around lunch time, Severus decided to pay Lupin a visit. The boy had asked him to skip their study session that friday and made vague comments about having to go to the infirmary. If this was anything like the last time he saw him feeling sick then he would have to spend that Saturday inside instead of going to hogsmeade with Potter and the rest of the Gryffindors. 

He definitely was not visiting Remus just because he wanted to see his stupid half smile or hear him ramble about another one of his useless muggle intrests. He was just repaying a favor, at least that what he told himself as he greeted the nurse and made his way towards one of the beds.

Severus made an effort not to look too eager and pulled the white curtain out of the way, already speaking, even before even looking at the bundle of blankets laying across the mattress. “Since you spent some time with me when I was confined to the infirmary I decided to return the favor, you better be grateful.”

“Oh, hi Severus.” Remus looked at him, sitting up as quickly as he could, a smile painted on his lips. 

The moment he saw the gryffindor he knew something was off. Severus had come to know the other boy better, and sure, he didn't know everything about Lupin, but this was the first time Severus had seen him actually being dishonest. 

It was the smile. The same one his mother would use on him. A tight little smile with dull eyes made to fake being fine and appease others. It was an upsetting experience to see such expression on Remus' face. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine, just a little sore and feverish, nothing to worry about.” Severus looked at him, not believing a word. Which must have shown in his face, because Remus looked at him with slight confusion. “What?”

“Don't lie just to spare me. I'm not a little kid you have to reassure.” He just hated to be kept in the dark, unable to do anything. Severus didn't know how to handle emotions at times, but he knew he wanted Remus to trust him. “How are you really feeling?”

Remus looked at him for a moment, as if debating something with himself. Severus could see when the boy started to let go of his mask, his body relaxing, leaning fully into the pillows, the smile disappearing. “I…well, I feel horrible...just horrible.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remus had learned from a very young age that his condition was a burden. A burden he had never wanted to inflict on those near him. He knew how hard it was for his parents and he always tried to keep a smile on his face for those that cared for him...since he was a monster the least he could do was be grateful. He had to be as normal and nice as he could, otherwise his parents' suffering was for nothing. 

Remus had been caught off guard. No one had ever really called him out. Not his parents, nor his friends, they were just happy to believe what he told them. Remus was not mad at them for not noticing, that was kind of the point, but there was something strangely freeing about being...seen.

“I'm sick of being tired and I’m tired of being sick.” The gryffindor said with a joyless laugh and rubbed his eyes with the ball of his palms. Gods, he sounded pathetic.

Severus stood in front of his bed, looking awkward, until he decided to speak again. “Do you... want to talk about it?” 

“Huh?” Remus grunted.

“I could at least listen to you. I can’t say I know what you are going through, but you shouldn't have to hide.” He said with a shrug.

“I don't really feel like talking right now.”

“Do you want me to go then?” Surprisingly enough Remus found that he didn't want him to go. Usually he didn't want anyone to see him like this, empty and numb as he felt, but for some reason he wanted Severus to stay. 

“...No, you don't have to go if you don't want to...” He wanted him to see and decide to stay anyways.

Severus moved from the foot of the bed and sat on a chair near Remus, still looking unsure about what to do. “I could read to you...maybe?” The boy said, pulling a book from the old bag he was carrying.

“I think I would like that…” Remus said, a genuinely, if small, smile appearing on his face for a second. 

He was pleasantly surprised to find that the book had been one of his recommendations from the muggle section, maybe he was rubbing off on Severus after all. Remus rolled to his side, looking at the slytherin, his voice was clear and neutral as he narrated, stopping only for the nurse to check on Remus every now and then. He was sure he had dozed off a couple of times as the day went on, but Severus was still there every time he opened his eyes, doing something or another to keep himself occupied.

By the time Pomfrey came to inform them that visiting hours were done for the day, Remus was almost completely healed and Severus had almost finished the whole book. He thanked the pale boy, receiving a small nod and a promise to study later in the week as an answer. As Remus saw him depart he felt less alone, less cold.


	8. Chapter 8

It was the late afternoon, Remus was walking near the shore of the black lake, snow from last night crunching beneath his feet, the slight breeze from the lake making the already freezing weather even worse. He would have never chosen to come near this place on his own accord, but it was the day before they had to go for christmas break and he wanted to see a certain slytherin. 

November had come and gone. Another moon, only one more before the year ended, and then the twelve more for next year and so on for the rest of his life. His friends at least made the whole experience tolerable with their help, and now that Severus had made a habit of providing him with an array of different potions, his symptoms post transformation had been greatly relieved. He would never tell Madam Pomfrey, but the boy’s creations were simply better in quality to the ones that were provided to the infirmary.

The pale teenager was sitting against a tree, and appeared to be writing something on an old looking book. The patch of grass beneath him was free of snow, but he still had to be freezing as Severus simply refused to wear a scarf or even gloves. 

Remus hurried up and stood in front of him. “Hey.”

The boy only hummed, not looking away from his book. Someone else might've gotten mad at Severus for such a half assed greeting, but Remus just unwrapped his scarf and with a wand movement made it to be the size of a small blanket, threw it on top of Severus’ head.

“If you keep this habit of yours, you are going to end up getting frostbite.” 

Only then did Severus stopped writing and looked at him. “I like the cold.” The boy said, but still adjusted the stripy blanket around his shoulders. His nose and cheeks pink from the freezing air.

“My bad, I didn't notice.” Remus said, voice full of sarcasm and sat beside the slytherin. “I came to chat a bit before I had to go finish packing.”

“You are trying to get some intelligent conversation so you can survive the rest of the month? How sad for you to spend your holidays surrounded by dunderheads.”

“Hey! James and his parents are being really nice by letting me spend Christmas with them and Pads isn't so bad, he’s just really noisy.”

“Fine” He said, rolling his eyes. “For what it's worth I hope you have a good time.”

“What are you doing?” Remus asked, pointing at the potions’ book on Severus’ hand.

“Just adding some new corrections to some of the indications. Some little changes could make a huge difference.” Then he looked a bit guilty for a moment and asked. “Would you mind if I finish this? I really need to write it down before I forget.”

Remus made a move to stand up when Severus said. “You...you don't have to go, just-”

“Alright.” Remus interrupted, content enough to sit besides Severus and take in the view. He sat down, stealing some of the newly transfigured blanket and leaned against the tree, enjoying the peace. He could only hear the scratch of pen on paper and some birds singing in the distance.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus kept writing, only mildly distracted by the warmth radiating from the body to his left. The invigoration draught he had made before had been exactly what it should be according to the outdated book, but he was just not satisfied with his results. He was sure the problem was the billywig stings and alihotsy leaves, both being the one of the primary mood altering ingredients. Maybe if he ground up the dried stings before adding them? Or perhaps-

His train of thought was interrupted eventually when he felt Remus’ head press against his shoulder, sandy hair tickling his ear. Severus was about to tell the gryffindor to move when he realized the boy had fallen asleep. 

Remus’ face was relaxed, his mouth slightly open, lips redend and a bit chapped from the cold. Severus used his free hand to move some stray hairs away from his eyes with Remus so close to his face, he could actually see all of the scars that decorated his skin, the older ones were almost white, while the newer ones appeared to be a pinkish brown. He found them beautiful, but he wished they didn't cause the boy so much pain.

Severus had been seeing different sides to the gryffindor lately, when he used to see him from afar he always looked carefree, joking with his friends and attending classes like everyone else. Now he knew Remus was stronger than what he showed, to hurt like he did at times and still be so warm. His hand had moved to caress a small mark just at the corner of his mouth, wondering what it would feel like to kiss it.

Severus shut those thoughts away before he did something terribly stupid and tried to push the gryffindor up in hopes to correct their positions a bit, but Remus' only response was to take hold of his left arm, snuggling closer to his side and keep on sleeping like a damn log. 

Severus felt ridiculous at the fond feeling growing on his chest and simply casted a warming charm and a couple softening ones to the ground beneath them, no need for the gryffindor to catch a cold or wake up uncomfortable.

In the end he didn't get too much work done.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------

He must have fallen asleep because next thing he knew, Severus was shaking him awake. “Hey, it's late, you won't get your things ready in time if you stay here.”

Remus opened his eyes slowly, the sunlight was almost gone for the day. He realized his head was resting on Severus' shoulder, while hugging the boy’s arm to his chest. Remus stood up in mild panic, his feet still a bit wobbly.

He felt warm and rested, too comfortable for having slept outside. “Did you put a warming charm on me?” Remus asked, voice raspy with sleep.

“Was I supposed to let you die of hypothermia?” 

“Thanks.”

“It was nothing.” Severus looked at the floor and said. “I'm sorry we didn't even talk or anything.”

Remus stretched from side to side. “It's fine, we can always write. Besides, I had a great nap. Turns out you are an excellent pillow.” He said with a small laugh as he stretched out.

“Let's head inside, I also need to pack.” Severus said and started to walk away, his stride a bit faster than usual. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The holidays had been as boring as Severus had expected. His father wasn't too much of a christmas person, actually any kind of celebrations was pointless to his father. Any free time he got off from work was just spent drinking or with his friends from the mill. At least this year he had been sleepy rather than angry. The only real highlight of his time at home was sharing meals with his mother and spending all the time he wanted with his best friend and no one to bother them with comments about their houses or families.

It was christmas morning, he and Lily were able to escape their families early and decided to spend some time at the park at Spinner's end. The place was practically abandoned at this point, almost completely covered in snow, which helped hide the overgrown, dead grass. The park only had a couple old, ugly benches that would stab you to death with splinters if you dared sit on them, and games that consisted of a seesaw that made some ungodly sounds when you tried to use it, a rusted slide that you wouldn't let any child near, unless you actually wanted them to contract tetanus, and the ancient swing set they were currently sitting in.

The cheap plastic swings although old, were still usable, the chains still not giving up after all these years. Severus suspected Lily was the cause for this, her magic probably unconsciously keeping her favorite game in better shape than anything else in the park. If he tried, he could still see the small girl in his memories letting go of the swings at the highest point and floating gracefully until she made it to the ground, smile bright and huge, her red hair all over the place. 

At the moment, however, the redhead was actually frowning at Severus. “Don't laugh Sev it's not funny!” she practically yelled, as the slytherin continued to laugh uncontrollably. 

The girl had thought it was a brilliant idea to give her sister a magical pet. A Puffskein seemed harmless enough, after all they were soft, pretty, if useless, creatures that usually took well to both magical and non magical people. The perfect pet for any girl. The problem was that the girl was Petunia Evans.

The moment Lily had presented her with the lovely ball of white and pink fur that morning, Petunia yelled at both her sister and the small creature, calling them “gross freaks” among other things. A Puffskein might not have much use, but they were not dumb. So when it heard such insults thrown it's way, the creature jumped to Petunia's face, giving her nose a nasty bite before escaping from the room.

Now Lily had to hide from her angry, red-nosed, sister in a dirty park.

“You are right, it's not funny, it's absolutely hilarious.” Severus was laughing so hard his stomach was starting to hurt.

“They make such cute pets, I wanted my sister to have a companion while I'm away, now Tunie hates me.” Lily let out a sigh. “At least Wilhelmina liked my mom, so I guess not all was lost.” 

“I would have loved to see it.” He said between laughs. “Come on Lily it's not your fault, It was hers for being a bully. I just hope the poor Puffskein doesn't die from food poisoning.” Lily actually giggled a bit at that.

“Should I give her a set of antlers? It would finish the Rudolph look quite nice- ow!” Severus had been hit in the head by a small, silvery package, a huge grey owl landing on his shoulder not long after. “What the-?”

The owl pecked at his ear playfully and hooted, holding up it's leg so Severus would take the letter attached to it. He untied it and gave the bird a gentle pet. The owl refused to, nuzzling the side of Severus’ head as the boy tried to read.

Merry Christmas Severus. 

How is your holiday going?   
Mine has been good so far, the Potters have been nice as always. James and Sirius have almost destroyed the whole house several times by playing pranks on each other (I don't know how Mrs. Potter handles them in the summer!).   
We have been exploring the nearby muggle village as well. It is rather beautiful, I loved the small market, there was so much food and music and the fairy lights reflecting on the white snow gave the place an ethereal look (Do you like that sort of thing?). 

Anyways, I got you a small gift, I saw it in the village and thought you might like it.   
It's just something to hold your hair properly, even if long messy hair suits you, it's dangerous to have hair in your eyes while you are brewing.

Yours, Remus.

P.D. I'm sorry if Pandora bothers you, according to the Potters she is rather affectionate.

“Whose is it from?” Lily said after a moment, almost snatching the note from his grasp, and began reading while swinging happily. 

Severus took the silver box from the owl. Inside rested a beautifully carved snake, trapped in motion, trying to slither away. The polished wood was almost completely black, it had a beautiful shine to it. 

A high pitch squeal in his ear took his mind off the small figure. “Lils what in hell is wrong with you?!”

The redhead was looking at him with a huge smile, her eyes shining in a way that made Severus nervous. “Sev! I knew you were spending time together, but I didn't know Lupin liked you!”

“What? No, We are- I'm not- Remus is..” Severus felt stupid not knowing how to react. 

“Oh my God you like him too! Why didn't you tell me before? I could've given you so many tips! ” The girl said, cackling maniacally. 

“I don't. We’re only friends, that's it.”Severus sounded unconvincing even to himself. He hated how Lily made him incapable of hiding his emotions when they were alone.

“He complimented your messy hair.” Lily said with a giggle, completely ignoring him. She took the snake from his hand and walked behind him, Severus felt her hands on his hair and then a cheerful sound. “This looks so cute on you!” 

“Leave me alone.”

“You are blushing!” She said, grabbing his cheeks and pinching them. 

“I'm not!” He said, Lily always had the ability to revert him into an eight year old kid when she teased him like that.

“I'm so happy! You HAVE to give me some details!”

“Fine, fine, but stop your constant screaming you buffoon.” He knew there was no point in trying to resist anymore.

Lily grabbed his hands, singing repeatedly ‘Sevy’s got a crush’ while swinging their arms in time with her words.

“Shut up Lillian!” He said, but Severus couldn't stop himself from laughing along with the girl. Merlin, he was glad they were alone.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus sipping at a mug of cocoa, resting with James and Sirius after a long day. The living room was cozy and warm, a nice fire burning on the chimney.

They had spent almost the whole morning playing some quidditch, Remus wasn't particularly good at it, but it was fun to fly either way. His friend took the game to extremes, as usual, and ended playing increasingly risky moves to outsmart the other, thankfully nobody got hurt.

They decided to go to the village not long after. Sirius, or rather, Padfoot had become pretty popular amongst the muggles in the area over the holidays. He, with James as his “Trainer” performed some complicated tricks, while Remus presented them like a circus act. People would usually give them some spare money, they didn't need it, but the boys found it funny when people would look amazed at the black dog and compliment James for doing such a good job. The shameless dog would act like a cute little puppy for pretty girls and do anything they ask.

After a while it started to snow and people had to leave the plaza, taking advantage of the empty space, the three of them started a snow fight that lasted hours. Remus felt like a little kid, smiling so much his face would hurt at the end of the day. They had returned to James’ home, tired and wet from the snow, but it had been a great day.

Even after all the excitement, he couldn't help but feel a bit down at the moment. Several days had passed since Christmas and he had not received an answer from Severus yet. Maybe he didn't like the gift? or he thought he was weird for giving him something like that? Either way he would probably know soon, there was only a week more until the end of the break.

Remus had started to get a bit lost from the conversation when they heard a tapping on the window. An angry looking horned owl was staring at them from outside.

“That’s Evans’ owl.” James said, looking a bit surprised. 

“Of course you know how her owl looks.” Sirius teased and stood up to open the window. “Maybe she is finally confessing her feelings for you, Prongs! ” He exclaimed while making googly eyes at his friend. 

“Shut it Pads.” James replied, throwing some spare marshmallows at Sirius' face. 

To their surprise, the owl flew directly towards Remus, letting a package wrapped in newspaper on his lap. Remus looked at the rather grumpy bird with a smile on his face. Lily apparently had a type when it came to choosing friends.

“Thank you.” He said to the owl with a pet, earning a playful, if a bit too hard, peck on the back of his hand. Yep, definitely alike. 

“What is it?” James asked while giving the owl some well deserved treats.

Sirius sat beside him, looking at the package. “Yeah, I want to know, open it.”

He teared at the paper, revealing a black book showing a small picture of a village and white bold letters spelling ‘Salems’ Lot'. 

“Huh, it's just one of those muggle books you like.” Sirius said, clearly unimpressed. 

“How nice of Evans to give you that, I guess she knows more about that sort of thing since she is muggle born.” James added. 

While his friends inspected the book, Remus noticed that a small note hidden inside the pages had fallen to the floor and quickly pocketed it for later.

Once night came and he was left alone in the guest room, Remus took out the small piece of paper. 

Remus,  
My holiday has been fine. Yours sounds to be pretty good.

Sorry for the late gift. I thought you might like some enrichment while you spend time with your lions. It was recommended by the store owner, it's by a new author and supposed to be a good read for mystery and horror fans. 

Happy christmas and new year.

P.D. The snake was beautiful, thank you.

He clutched the paper close to him, he couldn't wait to see Severus again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mini chp with just fluff stays cause no one can stop me >:3

They were back from their holiday break and back into normal routine, with the added pressure that owls were coming closer and closer everyday, a fact his teachers kept reminding him of constantly. 

Severus was making his way to the Great hall for dinner when he felt a poke on his side and a sceam of “Sev!”, making him jump a bit. He turned around knowing exactly who it was. “Good evening to you too, Lils.”

“Here, Lupin sent you this.”

“What is it?”

“I don't know, he just said it was for you. You’ll tell me what it was about later and if he does anything stupid I’ll help you beat him up.” She said with a fond smile on her lips and went away.

It was a small piece of parchment with an ugly doodle of a snake smiling at him and a brief message.

Meet me at our classroom after dinner.

Severus tried to have a totally normal dinner, but his mind kept wandering to whatever Remus was planning. The note had been so ambiguous, it could be about anything! What made it worse was that Remus was nowhere to be seen in the Great hall. He had barely been able to eat a couple bites as his stomach felt heavy with nerves.

The slytherin made his way discreetly around the castle, trying not to think too much. Before he knew it he was in front of the classroom door. Severus exhaled a heavy breath and went inside.

The moment he opened the door he was met with a crushing hug. Severus froze in place, looking at Remus in confusion.

“I heard Lily mention your birthday was a couple days ago.” Remus said opening his arms, gesturing awkwardly to the room. “Surprise?” 

He noticed there were some small changes, a dark wood table and chairs that looked slightly newer than the rest of the discarded benches and a soft looking couch, of a rather horrible maroon color, were placed in a corner. 

“How..?”

“I just transfigured some of the stuff around here.” Just as he said that a small chocolate cake appeared on top of the table. “...And I might know where the kitchens are hidden, being a prefect has some benefits.” He added with a shrug. 

Severus looked at the setting in disbelief.

“I know it's not much, but well, happy birthday Severus.” Remus sounded nervous.

This time Severus was the one to wrap his arms around the other boy in a tight embrace. No one other than Lily had really celebrated his birthday, not even his parents made much of an effort. 

“It's perfect, thank you.” He only hoped he didn't sound as sappy as he felt at the moment, his pride could only take so much damage. 

“Let's eat then.” Remus said, making a gesture for Severus to follow him to the table.

They sat at the table and ate, talking for hours about meaningless stuff. The cake was rich, but not too sweet, Remus looked almost in bliss every time he had a bite, the gryffindor definitely had an obsession with any kind of sweet. The small smile on those chocolate stained lips made Severus’ heart want to escape his ribcage.

Curfew had come far too soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Remus was laying down on the maroon couch at the corner of their classroom, trying and failing to concentrate on the readings for his next herbology class. They were going to work with some carnivorous plants and he probably should put some effort into the lesson if he didn't want to lose any fingers to a snargaluff or cobra lily, but Remus found it hard to take his eyes away from Severus. 

His favorite days were the ones when the slytherin decided to brew, not as practice or to teach him something, but just because he felt like doing so. Listening to endless amounts of theory, being used as an assistant and even the various spills and explosions were worth it when he got to see the other boy work while chatting the afternoon away.

The pale skin of his face had turned a nice shade of pink from the heat, his long black hair, now frizzy from the cauldron steam, was tied into a knot with the help of the hair stick Remus had gifted him; the gryffindor had been right, it did look good on him. Sometimes Remus couldn't really tell what he found attractive about the gloomy boy, his black eyes were almost unnerving, but had an enticing spark of life when he was working; a nose a bit too big, but that fitted his and hair that got messy way too easily. These things had brought the slytherin endless teasing from their peers, but Remus couldn't help to find them charming. With a last glance at the Severus, the sandy haired boy returned to his homework, it wouldn't do to get caught staring like a creep.

Remus was in the middle of drawing the anatomy of a fanged geranium when he heard Severus cleaning up and stood up to help, but the slytherin only turned to face him, tossing him a vial full of opaque, blue potion, telling him to “catch”.

“For when you get indigestion from gorging on chocolate tomorrow.” It was a bit of an unnecessary measure in Remus' opinion, it was true that he had been looking forward to the valentine’s feast this year, but he liked to believe he still had some self control left; he felt grateful either way .

“How sweet of you.” Remus said only half teasing, by now he had gotten used to Severus showing his affection by giving him all the medicine he could need, it was a bit weird at times, but he did find it sweet.

“Piss off.”

“I guess slytherins do have a heart.”

Severus looked at him with an unamused expression.“I can still take it back.”

“No, it's mine.” He said sticking out his tongue.

“Very mature.”

“Thank you.” Remus grinned at him.

“You’re welcome, idiot.” Severus said fondly, throwing Remus a paper ball, hitting him on the face and kept on tidying up.

Their friendship had slowly become relaxed and even playful, although Severus only showed that side in private. Once he had earned Severus full trust, the rest started to fall in place by itself. It was good, comfortable. 

The only problem was Remus wasn't able to stop thinking about the possibility of more. He had noticed the lingering looks, the casual touches, Severus seemed to at least care about him... At the same time, he could be wrong, a case of only seeing what he wanted to see, the last thing he wanted was to lose his friend because he made him uncomfortable with unwanted feelings. 

Remus felt like a coward.

He wanted to do something but he didn't know what to do. Even then he didn't have the guts to say anything, he was just standing there, looking at the slytherin’s back like an idiot. Come on! He could do it! He just had to say it! With a deep breath he approached Severus, tapping on his shoulder.

The boy turned towards him. “Yes?” 

“Severus, I- well- you. ” He felt the words on the tip of his tongue, but when those black eyes looked at him the panic changed them into something completely different. “Would uh, would you like to hang out at Hogsmeade this weekend?” He cleared his throat, trying not to sound so awkward. “Maybe get some butterbeer? My treat.”

Severus looked at him, confusion clear on his face and nodded. “Sure... I don't see why not. I need to go and leave some things in my room before dinner, I'll see you later.” He said, leaving in a hurry.

“Alright, yes, great, see you later.” Remus said, trying not to sound disappointed at the boy leaving.

When he was left alone, the gryffindor collapsed on the couch and groaned into the cushions. There. It was done. He had chickened out again, but then again, maybe he’ll be able to do it at Hogsmeade, far from Hogwarts and all of it’s pressures.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Friday had come too soon and not soon enough for Remus. He was a ball of nerves at this point, playing the worst scenarios inside his head, over and over again. Tomorrow had to be perfect, he needed to tell Severus he liked him.

He was coming back from an unfruitful study session at the library, opening the door to the Gryffindor common room he saw his friends sitting by the fire, talking cheerfully. 

“Hey, guys.” He greeted them.

“Moony! are you ready for a great weekend?” Sirius asked.

Remus was confused about his friend’s excitement as he didn't remember making any plans with them. “What are you talking about?”

“Honeydukes will have so much leftover candy from valentines!” Peter said eagerly.

“And Zonko’s has a special sale too, we’ll be covered for the rest of the year.” James added with a smile.

“Oh, I can't. I'm hanging out with Severus that day.” Remus said in a nonchalant way, hoping his friends wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Peter looked at him as if he had grown another head. “I can't believe you enjoy spending time with that prick.”

“Yeah, is Snivellus your girlfriend now?” Sirius said, teasing him.

James started to laugh, and with a sickly sweet voice he said. “How cute! Are you two lovebirds going to go to Madam Puddifoot's? You’re having some tea and cakes?”

“Should we start planning your wedding?” Sirius said between laughs. “Wormtail would make a beautiful flower boy.” At that James and Peter started to throw imaginary flowers while humming a bridal song. 

“Screw you guys.” Remus said, trying to sound more playful than annoyed, going up the stairs, ignoring his friends’ teasing.

“Careful Moony, if you kiss the greasy snake you'll get acne.” Sirius said at his back, but Remus just kept walking.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus checked himself in the mirror one last time, trying to make his hair into a somewhat decent half ponytail, like Lily had suggested, and mostly giving up. He was even wearing some muggle clothing his best friend had helped alter so that they actually fit. 

The girl had been jumping and squealing when Severus had told her about his outing with Remus, teasing him constantly about them being “too damn slow”. Lily even gave him a magazine full of nonsense articles and ridiculous tips around the topic of dating. 

Why was he even worrying so much about his appearance? It couldn't be more than just a friend thing, right? He was clearly overthinking this.

Severus let out a groan and tried to quiet his mind as he made his way out of the dorms, making a quick stop at the Slytherin table to grab an apple. Maybe having some breakfast would calm the ball of nerves currently residing in his stomach. 

“What in Salazar's name are you wearing?” Avery’s voice came from the other side of the table, sounding personally insulted by his clothes. 

“Morning.” Severus greeted coldly. 

“Ugh, did that mudblood girlfriend of yours dressed you up or something?” Rosier asked. “The least people like you could do is try to fit into our society instead of advertising your lower status like that.” he made a vague gesture at Severus. 

Severus felt himself grow angry, but didn't reach for his wand, starting a fight would be pointless, but that didn't mean he had to keep quiet.

“Actually, yeah, my Muggleborn friend helped me, and it's just a pair of jeans, Rosier. I'm sure it would take a lot more to destroy wizarding society.” He said, feeling a bit pleased with himself.

Before he would’ve never even attempted to wear anything like that near other slytherins, much less talk back to people with higher status than him, but ever since the realization about his friends, Severus didn't really have the patience to deal with those kinds of insults.

A couple more slytherins were staring at him with judging eyes and disbelieving looks at the exchange, but he ignored them and went to the gates, trying not to think of the consequences this kind of display could have in the future. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus was waiting for him by a tree covered in snow, near the main gates. He was wearing a cream colored jumper along with his uniform cloak, scarf and gloves. The oversized layers drowning the gryffindor. 

“Hi.” Severus greeted him.

“Hello Severus.” Remus waved, his friendly smile bright as usual. “You look nice, I like your hair.” He said, gesturing awkwardly with his hand. 

“Uh, thanks, you too, warm.” Severus wanted to slap himself in the face. What was he even supposed to do anymore?

“Thanks, I don't get how you can dress like that in this climate, I thought snakes were cold-blooded.” The sandy haired boy pushed him playfully and started to walk. 

“Very funny. Not everyone hates the cold as much as you do.” He said, trying to keep up with his friend’s quick pace.

The more they walked, the more he felt the anxiousness leave his body. It was just Remus, they had been hanging out for a while, this wasn't different, they were just outside of the castle this time. By the time they reached the village Remus had a light dusting of snow on his hair and Severus was feeling normal once again.

They took their time browsing through the stores, mostly staying clear from the more popular businesses like Zonko’s and Honeydukes, both knowing where the gryffindor’s friends were going to be for most of the day.

Tomes and scrolls felt like an obvious place to start. It was a quiet, slightly dusty store, but Remus seemed to enjoy going around the place checking every fiction book he came across and giving some pretty lengthy reviews on the ones he had already read, Severus mostly opted for the academic texts, but his enthusiasm was certainly contagious. In return, Severus dragged the gryffindor into the herbology shop so he could see the newest arrivals to their inventory and rant about every possible use the plants had. He always liked to know what was in season, possibly even harvest some fresh ingredients. 

Remus eventually convinced him to go into the only music store in the village. The place was full of old radios and vinil, the names of strange bands were all over the walls, both magic and muggle, it was interesting to say the least. Ever since he started to spend time with the gryffindor, Severus had let himself enjoy more and more things that the muggle word offered him. Sadly, they had to abandon the shop when Severus made the mistake of touching a strange instrument that looked like a bunch of trumpets tied together, which chased him while making a series of angry sounds.

He felt weird smiling and joking in a lighthearted manner in front of so many people, even more doing it with someone other than Lily. Severus felt the buzz inside his chest getting worse by the second, but he couldn't find it in him to care at the moment.

“Alright, now let's head to the Three broomsticks so we can get a warm drink before I die.” 

“You are not going to die.” Severus wanted to tease the boy further, but when he noticed the slight trembling and red cheeks of his companion he added. “But I guess some tea would be nice.”

They made their way into the crowded pub and managed to place their order without much fuzz. The two teens took a sit at a corner booth at the back of the pub, hidden away from the crowd of excited students. The privacy granted by the wooden divisions was appreciated, but they were also the farthest from the roaring fire. They sat closely in hopes of keeping warm and talked about unimportant stuff, the atmosphere feeling relaxed and happy. 

“Of course you got hot chocolate.” Severus teased when a lady placed a steaming cup in front of Remus. “I can taste the sugar just by looking at it.”

“I'm sorry for not being boring like you and drinking leaf water, with only lemon, I might add.” Remus said, making a face at his choice of drink. 

“There is no proper english person that doesn't appreciate a good cup of tea.” 

“I'm from Wales. Your leaf water holds no power over me.” Remus quickly answered with an air of victory and took another sip from his mug, a small smile still on his lips. 

For some reason the conversation moved to their experiences with muggle primary schools, their favorite subjects, muggle children and differences between teaching methods. He had never really talked about it before, when he met Lily he just wanted to share a new world with her, and slytherins wouldn't really care about something like that. 

“Thatʼs kind of why I decided to take Arithmancy as one of my electives, for some reason Wizarding teaching leaves Maths out of the curriculum almost entirely, when in fact-” 

Severus had to stop him mid sentence when he noticed the boy had acquired a foamy mustache after his last sip of chocolate. “You are such a child.” He said, stretching his arm to wipe Remus’ upper lip with his napkin, both of them freezing for a second in surprise at his own action.

“Thank you.” Remus said, almost too low to hear it. His amber eyes were looking at Severus with a nervous shine, a small smile still on his lips. His hand reached out, fingertips slightly brushing Severusʼ own. Maybe there was something more after all. They were now in each other’s space. Severus looked down to his lips and then back to those amber eyes gone wide in surprise. He’d only need to lean in and close the space between them. 

He needed to know.


	11. Chapter 11

Remus swallowed, feeling his heart beating inside his throat. Severus was moving closer to him and he was just staring at him, petrified. He had a clear chance and he didn't know what to do. Remus even had a note prepared so when the time was right he would have the words and now nothing was coming to him. His panic filled mind decided that the best option was to back away from the other boy. 

“Uh, wait. Let's go outside, there is a lot of noise in here.” He said, grabbing Severus’ forearm and going into the street. The slytherin looked confused, but didn't put any resistance. Eventually Remus got them to a more deserted part of the village, away from the shops and Hogwarts students. Only houses and a couple snow covered trees in sight. Placing his hands on Severus’ shoulders, Remus took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“Severus, I-"

Before he was able to say anything else, he heard some steps behind them and turned around. His three friends came out of thin air, probably under James’ invisibility cloak. 

Severus turned to face them, but Sirius quickly conjured a rope around the slytherinʼs feet, making him fall on the snow. Then James threw some thick, bright green paint on top of him, completely ruining his clothes. Wormtail finishing everything with a dungbomb that hit him in the chest. It all happened so fast Remus didn't even have a chance to do something. 

“You should keep the look snivellus, you look and smell way better than before.” Sirius said, laughing the hardest out of the three of them.

Severus looked at him from the ground, hurt clear in his eyes, while struggling to untie himself. “I knew you were just waiting for the right moment to make fun of me. ”

“Sev no-” Remus tried to reach for him. 

“Get the fuck away from me, go laugh with your friends.” He said, managing to get the rope off and running without looking back at them. 

Remus was about to run after Severus when an arm patted him in the back in a good natured manner. “Did you see that face?!” Sirius exclaimed with a smile, laughs from his friends were heard all around him. 

“Snivellus was not expecting that!” Peter exclaimed excitedly.

“Why would you do something like that?!” Remus practically screamed at the boys.

“Hey, we were just playing, Moony-” James started to say when he saw how mad Remus actually was. 

“What you did was not part of a game!” 

Sirius turned to him, looking annoyed. “Who cares?! It's just that dirty snake!” At that Remus punched him square in the face, all of them shutting up as Sirius back hit the floor. 

“That "dirty snake" is my friend, and unlike you, he has tried to be civil to the people that are important to me!” Sirius only looked at him in disbelief while rubbing his already bruising cheek. 

“That is not true! He's still the same prick as always.” Peter said. 

“When was the last time he bothered any of you guys?” 

James at least looked a bit guilty at that. “Hey, Remus, calm down mate.”

“Don’t. Don’t tell me to calm down.” Remus said holding up a hand to quiet James. “I'll make this clear, if you want to keep being my friends then you have to respect him as well. How would you feel if I attacked your mates from Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?”

“But he is a Slytherin!” Peter said in a scandalized tone.

“What the hell does that even mean!? That he wears green and silver on his uniform? We are not kids anymore, forget about the stupid houses for a second!” Remus let out a defeated sigh and turned away from his friends. “Whatever, I'm leaving.” 

Remus ran as fast as he could, hopefully he’ll manage to catch up with Severus. He didn't want this day to end in such a horrible way.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus ran as fast as he could, wanting to be as far away from everyone as possible, the humiliation had been more than what he could take. He had let his guard down, he had been an idiot for believing Remus was his friend, for believing he could even like him. Everything had been a game to him just another way to make fun of him.

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling in the distance. “Severus! Severus wait!” The sandy haired boy was red from running, his breathing coming out in pants.

“Why can't you just leave me alone?! Haven't you had enough fun at my expense?” He just wanted to be left alone, he didn't want to hear some stupid excuse.

“I was not a part of that prank!” Remus looked desperate. “I told them off, if they want to be my friends they'll need to grow up.” 

“I wish I could believe that.” Severus tried to keep his voice in check as he was closer to tears than he liked to admit.

“I'm telling the truth Severus. The guys knew I was going to meet with you and used it to be a bunch of arseholes. I'm sorry.” 

“Goodbye Lupin.” Severus said coldly and started to walk away when he felt a hand on his wrist pull him back so he was facing the gryffindor again. He was about to let a string of insults out, but before he could open his mouth Remus had moved to shut him up with a warm press of lips that was over almost as suddenly it had started. 

“I'm not lying. I wanted to ask you out formally, but I got interrupted by that stupid prank. Now it's all ruined.” Remus said, shyness and regret in his voice, amber eyes looking away from Severus.

Severus wanted to do a lot of things at once. He wanted to run away and hide in his dorm until next year; he wanted scream and reprimand the dumb gryffindors in front of him for doing something so stupid in such a public place; he wanted to punch Remus in the face for only saying this now.

Instead of doing any of those, he grabbed the gryffindor by the collar and kissed him. The feeling of Remus’ soft lips made his head spin, his heart was beating out of control; arms wrapped around his middle, holding him in a tight embrace and he practically melted against the other boy. 

Severus had to remind himself where they were to break the kiss. He was grateful that half the school was at Hogsmeade and that the other half decided to stay inside the castle due to the cold weather; he was not happy with the idea of anyone seeing him like this.

When they separated Severus was pleasantly warm and his body felt light. He opened his eyes slowly, wanting to see those beautiful amber eyes, but what he saw made him want to laugh.

“That color is not flattering on you at all.” He said pointing at Remus’ jumper. He had gotten paint all over the other boy; his face and neck had streaks from Severus’ hair, and his clothes were completely ruined from the hug. 

Remus looked down at his jumper with a smile and a half shrug. “Green is more your style, I guess.” The whole stupid situation got a giggle out of Severus, relief and warmth erasing any trase of the dread he had felt only moments ago.

They laughed together for a moment and then Remus looked at him with a serious expression, his hand gently squeezing one of Severus’. 

“Severus, it would make me incredibly happy if you could consider dating me.I’ve liked you for a long time now, your sarcastic sense of humor, how smart you are, and that you can be reckless and impulsive too, I like how you rant about things you love, I even like that you don't like people knowing you can be nice and-” 

“Yes.” Severus interrupted, feeling way too embarrassed for the gryffindor’s ridiculous speech to continue. “Just shut up.” He said, pushing Remus away, not really sure of what to do anymore, his heart pounding like crazy inside his chest. 

Remus smiled brightly at him, obviously pleased with himself at making Severus look like a fool. “We should go inside so you can change, it's getting really cold...and we do kind of stink.” The boy said while scrunching his nose.

As he was being dragged into the castle by a cheery Remus, Severus couldn't help but smile. His day had been rather bumpy, but it certainly ended in a better note than he had ever expected.


	12. Chapter 12

They had agreed to keep the development of their relationship a secret for now. It wasn't that they were ashamed, homosexuality wasn't even too big of a thing in their world unless you were a pureblood that needed to produce an heir, but they didn't want to deal with people's opinions and interference just at the beginning of their relationship. Severus' housemates and Remus' friends had made their disapproval of their friendship perfectly clear and it would only be worse if they found out he was also snogging the gryffindor.

There were other things to think about too. Owl examinations were coming closer by the day. Severus was both looking forward and dreading it, as he’ll be able to drop some useless subjects and possibly get to take Alchemy next year. Every moment they weren't doing homework they would need to review everything they had learned this past five years. 

So he and Remus continued their regular study sessions as normal. The fact that he was now in a new relationship, his first relationship, didn't mean that he had to let his grades slip by acting like a hormonal idiot. 

That being said, It was hard. 

Sometimes it felt impossible to pay any attention in class when his thoughts would be filled with beautiful yellow eyes, nice, shy smiles and charming scars. Even moreso, as the owner of said characteristics was currently right in front of him, trying to explain some grooming technique used on unicorns Severus had no interest in whatsoever. Severus wanted to come closer, to touch him, but he didn't know how to ask for it.

Severus was pulled away from his thoughts by Remus’ hand waving in front of his face. “You are so getting kicked in the face by a magical horse, Severus.”

“Huh?” 

“You are staring and not paying attention.” Remus said in a good humored tone.

“That’s not true.”

“Hmm yeah, well then what’s the proper way to harvest hair from a magical equine?” Severus just kept quiet, his cheeks going warm with embarrassment. The sandy haired boy gave him a smug smile and moved closer to him. “Is the cute, cute boy in front of you a distraction, Mr. Snape?” 

“Shut up.” Severus pushed Remus’ face away, but couldn't stop the laugh that came out of his lips.

Remus grabbed his hand, standing up from the chair and dragged him towards the ugly couch, a copy of “Handling of Magical Creatures” under his arm. The boy sat on the edge of the couch, putting his feet up after taking off his shoes, gesturing for Severus to sit in the space between his legs. Severus stared at the boy for a moment, unsure of what to do.

“Come on Sev, I'm not going to do anything funny, I swear.” Severus wasn't really sure he wanted anything “funny” to happen or not at this point, but it made him feel reassured either way. He moved slowly, trying not to crush Remus, leaning against him, his legs slightly bent in front of him. Remus put his arms forward, enclosing him, the book open so they could both see it. Severus tried to relax his body, concentrating only on the nice feeling between nerves and joy filling his chest.

Remus put his chin on his shoulder. “Yes, this is much better.” Severus could hear the smile on his voice. “Now I can read to you and you can pay attention properly.” Remus said, placing a quick peck on his cheek. 

Severus crossed his arms, leaning further against the gryffindor’s chest. “This is ridiculous.”

“You’re my boyfriend, I think we are allowed to be a bit ridiculous together.” Severus felt embarrassed at the term, but the warm embrace was just too nice to care. “Don't tell me you are not enjoying this, everyone likes a cuddle now and then.”

“Just keep reading, Lupin.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Severus and Lily walked together along the safe path through the forest that led to the spot where they usually had the practical sessions of caring for magical creatures. Fifth year students of various houses going the same way.

Remus was supposed to come with them, but he was ill again and had been in the infirmary since the night before. Severus was beginning to worry about the gryffindor’s health issues, the cuts and bruises could be a sign of some kind of blood curse, or some rare form of black magic, not many magical illnesses were that aggressive. The fact that Madam Pomfrey was treating him gave him a bit of peace of mind and Severus wanted to be respectful of Remus’ privacy, but the constant refusal to tell him exactly what was afflicting him made the slytherin nervous.

Lily got him out of his own head by pushing him in a friendly manner to get his attention. Severus turned to look at her, piercing green eyes on him. “So?”

“So...?” Severus repeated in confusion.

“When were you going to tell me about you and Remus finally getting together?” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” He said, averting his eyes, trying to avoid the topic. 

She arched an eyebrow and gave him a completely unimpressed look.“You know you can't keep secrets from me, right? You can't even look at me in the eye when you try.” 

He felt like a disappointment of a slytherin. Was he so bad at this? Did anybody else notice? Again in a display of his lack of subtlety, his face must have shown his doubts, because lily added quickly. “Oh, don't worry, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who can tell, but are going to talk to me about this. It's only fair since I always tell you about my dates!”

When they arrived at the clearing they were greeted by an ecstatic looking Professor Kettleburn. 

“Come on everyone, hurry up!” The man was happily waving, gesturing for the students to get closer, his fake arm making a rattling sound. The old man looked like a child on christmas morning. 

“I know I said we would have a practical session with some unicorns, but we have to move that to next week.” Some disappointed groans could be heard from the students around them. “Our winged horse herd had several new additions in the last couple weeks and we have the privilege to observe them!” That seemed to please most of the fifth years, a series or “ahs” and “ows” could be heard from a group of girls in the back.

“Now! Before we meet them. Take note everyone.” Kettleburn said, clearing his throat. “The group is composed of eight fully grown individuals. Our two stallions and five of the mares are pure atheoran, but our lead mare is a granian, you can tell by her size and coloring, and of course we have four new foals!” The man moved surprisingly fast on his old prosthetic leg, guiding them towards a forest clearing that was fenced off. 

When Severus saw the beautiful winged beasts he felt a bit sad about Remus not being here to admire them. The boy had a good touch for the gentler creatures, they seemed to like him almost immediately and he seemed to like them just as much.

Most of the winged horses had dark coats, but some looked to be a reddish brown with the odd white spot here and there. The biggest of them was a mare of a pure white color, it’s wings looked huge even folded and Severus felt slightly intimidated. The young foals looked a lot less graceful, their movements clumsy and their wings still mostly covered in baby fuzz, but still made a sight to behold. 

“Divide yourselves in groups of four or five, please. You will run the usual diagnostics, measurements, and groom all of them, take note of everything, please. This is important research you get to be part of!” Kettleburn said with a serious look. “Now, our herd is not wild, but the mothers will be nervous, so be careful when approaching.”

Potter started to look around the class, moving towards them when he spotted Lily, dragging Pettigrew behind him, at least Black had decided to waste his time on divination. Lucky for them, Lily moved quickly, getting a couple of ravenclaw girls to join their group before Potter came any closer.

Each group was assigned a horse, his team was one of the lucky ones and got one of the new mothers. Severus and Lily ran some diagnostic spells to check the internal and magical health of both creatures, while the ravenclaws made some annotations for the more physical aspects.

Severus found himself actually enjoying the whole process, letting himself smile when the small foal started to push his leg playfully. They were almost done with the grooming of the mother when Lily talked to him again.

“You look happy” Lily said with her bright smile and grabbed one of his hands.

“Hm? Do I?” 

“Yes, you do. He is good for you.” She holds her hand for a moment, giving it a squeeze. Severus returned the smile, but the moment was interrupted by a series of small explosions and the angry neighing of a horse right next to them. 

Pettigrew had accidentally made some red sparks come out of his wand, scorching some of the fluffy feathers of a cream colored foal and angering the mother. Unfortunately for everyone Potter’s team had been assigned the big white mare, which started to stomp and kick, to get everyone away from the baby.

Potter, like the dunderhead that he was, decided that using a stunning spell on an already angry beast. The winged mare got on its hind legs, rearing with his wings wide open, flapping erratically, sending dirt and feathers all over the place. Every other winged horse moving out of the way.

When the beast almost hit Lily with a strike of it's leg, Severus moved her out of the way and turned towards the mare. The slytherin casted a shielding charm both on himself and the small foal that had almost been striked by one of her mother’s wings. Severus approached slowly, using some calming spells with ease. It worked almost instantly, the mare folded its wings and her breathing started to relax, turning to check on her foal. Thankfully Remus ’ insistence about practicing was paying off.

When the mother had calmed down enough, Severus stepped closer to the little foal and extended its wing to cast a healing spell, letting out a tired sigh. “There, you are fine now.”

“You managed the situation quite well, young man, 50 points for Slytherin.” Kettleburn approached him quickly, patting him in the back excitedly. “I'm glad to see how much you've progressed Mr. Snape, keep up the good work.”

“Ah, thank you, sir.” Severus said awkwardly, he didn't really expect the Professor to say anything. He just didn't want the creature to hurt his friend.

“That was interesting.” Lily laughed a bit exhilarated from the whole thing “Seems like you got a souvenir from all of this.” She said, getting a huge white feather from his hair. Severus admired the beautiful feather. It had certainly made for an exciting afternoon.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus laid in a white, soft bed in the infirmary with a mild fever and feeling tired as usual, even after just waking up from a nap only a couple minutes ago. The only difference was that he wasn't as annoyed with the whole situation as he usually was. The last weeks had been some of his happiest, not even the moon and the subsequent fatigue were able to ruin his mood this time around. 

Remus perked up when he heard Severus' voice coming from the infirmary entrance. 

“Good evening Madam, could I talk to Remus for a moment? I promise it won't be long.” 

“Of course dear, I'm sure he'll be happy to talk to someone.” Madam Pomfrey said with a smile. “Also, I've noticed that you have been supplying some of young Remus’ potions, I’d appreciate it if you could give me some samples. I'm well aware that you are a talented student, but I need to make sure everything's in order if you want to help him.”

“Yes Madam.” Severus said, looked inside his bag and handed the witch some small vials. “Here, have a lovely night.” 

The nurse stared at him in surprise, probably not expecting the Slytherin to be carrying samples of everything he brewed with him. Remus wanted to laugh at that moment, you couldn't subestimate Severus Snape when it came to his potions. Madam Pomfrey thanked him and let the boy go with a friendly nod, going into her private office, leaving them alone. 

“Remus.” he said as he approached, sitting beside his bed and taking his hand. 

“Hi.” Remus said, trying not to sound as tired as he felt. “Pomfrey seems to be taking a liking to you.”

“Good, I’ll need the leverage if we are going to be meeting in here so often.” Severus said with a small smile. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I'm just happy to see you.” His thumb was caressing Remus' hand. Remus felt his insides do a flip at that. He was never going to get used to Severus showing him affection.

“Maybe I should add some painkillers to my brewing list.” The slytherin said, his eyes scanning all of his newly acquired cuts and bruises. Those black eyes going sad at the particularly big cut on his face, Remus was thankful that the thing was covered with some gause. 

“Hey, don't worry, they won't be more than scars by tomorrow.” Remus tightened his hold on Severus' hand in a reassuring gesture. 

“They have to hurt either way.” 

“It's fine, really. Why don't you tell me about your day? I need a good story to end my boredom.”

Severus reluctantly agreed, telling him about his classes, Lily knowing about them and everything that had happened at Care of magical creatures that day. 

“No way, that sounds crazy, you are making it up.” Remus said slightly horrified. 

“I swear it's true, I even brought physical proof.” Severus said, a bit of pride bleeding into his voice, and pulled something from inside his bag. “Here, a feel better gift, Lily helped me make it for you.” 

It was a beautiful quill, the nib was of a pale gold color, while the sizable feather was mostly of a gorgeous white color speckled with cream and gold flecks that reflected the light of the lamps. “Thank you, It's beautiful.”

“It's nothing, I would've never been able to get it if it wasn't for all of your tutoring.” Severus waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “I would've probably been trampled to death by the beast otherwise.”

It was true that Severus had greatly improved in the last few months, Remus was just glad they had managed to cover all the lessons on equines before the full moon made him indisposed. 

They talked for a bit more, well, Severus talked to him, Remus was a little too tired to be a great conversationalist, but he was happy to spend some time with his boyfriend. After about an hour they started to hear some racket coming their way, so much noise could only be the three loudest gryffindors in the castle.

“I think it's time for me to go, try to rest.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you, for everything.” Severus gave his hand one last squeeze and stood up.

“Potter.” Severus said and exited the room, looking dignified and cold.

“Snape.” James said in a neutral tone as Severus walked past him.

Each one acknowledged the other and moved on. Sirius gave the slytherin a death glare, but thankfully said nothing. Remus counted that as some sort of small progress. The four of them had a serious talk the day after their prank at Hogsmeade, they weren't going to be best friends with Severus any time soon, but they actually made a compromise to treat him with respect. 

His friends sat around his bed. 

“Hi, Moony.”James patted him in the shoulder. “Glad to see you’re awake.” 

“Hi guys.”

“We brought you some chocolate from the kitchens.” Peter said, handing him a candy bar.

“Thanks.” Remus said, happily unwrapping it and taking a bite, it was always heaven, especially after the moon. 

“How are you holding up, mate?” Sirius was smiling at him. “Last night was kind of rough on you.”

“I'm much better now.” Not to mention that the last few moons had actually been relatively tame, especially with his friends paying more attention and helping him stay safe.

“You missed a hell of a class today. Wormtail almost got us killed by a horse.” James said with a laugh.

“I did not!” Peter exclaimed. “It was not my fault you got distracted and pushed my wand!”

Sirius let out a snort and pushed James a bit. “Yeah James, tell him why you got distracted.”

James got a bit more serious and looked at Remus. “Hey, you...? Well Snape is your friend now so you must know. I saw Lily smiling a lot while holding Snape’s hand, you think they are…?”

Remus had to laugh at that. Severus had practically given him a kiss goodnight only minutes ago and James thought he and Lily were dating. “No, they are not. You still have a chance Prongs don't worry about it.”

“Don't lie to him Moony, Prongs has never had a single chance with Evans.” Sirius said between laughs, while James tried to make him shut up.

They only stopped when Madam Pomfrey came out from her office looking pretty mad. “Stop making ruckus in my infirmary or you are out young men!”

“It was this child's fault Madam, you see, he is lovesick, the poor thing.” Sirius said in a melodramatic voice. “I think he is terminal.” He added, earning a slap in the back of the head from James, which started another struggle and a series of playful screams. 

“That's it! Out, all of you out!” The nurse said, chasing the three gryffindors away.

Remus was happy about having his friends around, but secretly was a bit glad about having some peace and quiet so he could go to sleep once more.


	13. Chapter 13

The day outside was cold and gloomy, but inside the library, the mood was warm and carefree. Since Lily had figured out their relationship, it didn't make sense to hide as much, they still kept the old classroom for themselves, but in public spaces like the library or in class, the girl actually helped to stop people from making questions. It certainly didn't hurt that Lily was one of the smartest witches in the school when it came to doing their homework. 

As it turned out Lily and Remus had more in common than any of them expected, particularly their interest in charms, which paired with an essay on the different types of locomotion spells and their uses due next class, brought them to the present situation. Severus just kept taking notes on the old thome he was currently reading, while listening to a cheerful debate between his two favorite gryffindors (how he managed to have two lions as friends he will never know).

The hushed but way too enthusiastic voices of both teens earned them a couple dirty looks from some third year Ravenclaws, but apparently that was not enough to stop either of them.

“You cannot use a freezing charm to break a fall!” Lily exclaimed, going back to whispering once she realized she had increased her volume. “You’d kill someone!”

“I know that! but the next best thing we have currently is slowing down a fall, you play quidditch, you have seen how many broken bones are the result of that.” Remus kept gesturing with his quill, almost poking Severus in the eye a couple times, he would’ve been much more annoyed had the quill in question not been the white feather he had gifted the boy weeks ago. “Think on how we could improve by pairing the levitation with the slowing effect, you would never even hit the ground!”

“But the wand movements are completely different, you would make a mess if you tried to combine them and how would you decide on the etymology, you can't make it too convoluted, but if it's not precise you could end up with completely unexpected results.” Lily said, looking fascinated with the possibility, then arguing. “Maybe a cushioning charm instead? stopping the fall abruptly without injury or you could even-”

Then a shushing sound was heard coming from the direction of the librarian's desk, interrupting the girl, who had started to talk in a louder voice again.

“If you two don't start behaving like civilized humans we are going to get kicked out.” Severus said, not looking up, trying to hold a smile as he scolded the pair.“Besides, we just need to write about current spells, not experimental ones, while you two wasted your time I finished my essay.”

“Oh, come on, mister 'I make my own spells' we could really use your insight on this.” Remus said with a cheeky expression, now brushing the feather intentionally on his face. 

Severus pushed the quill away “Oh, quit pestering me, are you a five year old?.” He said, trying to sound annoyed rather than fond and glared at Lily once he realized how the girl was looking at him. He was going to be teased to hell and back by the red head. He was lucky that the Easter break was coming soon, he didn't think he could endure this kind of double attack much longer.

He was about to protest when his books and parchment went violently into the floor, luckily his inkpot was almost empty so his essay was only partially damaged in the fall. After the initial confusion he noticed the group of slytherins on the table behind theirs grinning. 

“Careful Snape, you wouldn't want to damage your books.” Rosier said, clearly proud of himself with the stupid joke.

Mulciber was practically laughing when he said “Not that that second hand garbage could get much worse”

Both gryffindors moved quickly to help him pick up the mess. “Just ignore them, it's not worth our time.” Remus whispered and handed him a bunch of parchment and his quill. 

Severus just nodded, biting his tongue to keep from saying something and starting a fight inside the library, Remus was right. It was the one place he actually didn't want to be banned from by the staff.

“How nice, your blood traitor and mudblood friends are helping you, truly warms my heart.” Dolohov said, and Severus suddenly didn't care about the consequences, he would hex them to hell and back. “All on the ground where you belo-” Before Severus could get his wand out, Dolohov was interrupted as all three slytherins’ chairs were pulled from beneath them. Rosier, who had managed to hit his face on the table as he fell, now had a small nosebleed.

“Maybe all of you should stop being a bunch of rude dickheads.” Lily said, her wand pointing at the boys. She ignored the sting of insults they kept throwing her way and grabbed her bag. “Let’s go, we can finish this later.”

\-----------------------------------------  
The three of them went outside, still a bit bothered by the interaction, but determined not to let it ruin their day. March was already halfway through and it hadn't done much for the cold so far, the sky still gray most of the time, the grass was clear of snow by now, but still wet, Remus truly disliked the damp, but it would have to do for now. 

As they walked towards the black lake he felt Severus’ hand brush against his, the slytherin had a stoic look to him, always trying to be as nonchalant as possible. Remus smiled and took his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. They still weren't ready to tell everyone, but they were slowly getting more comfortable with showing some affection outside the small walls of their classroom.

“Thank you, Lily,” Severu said, looking at the redhead with an apologetic expression. “I'm really sorry about what happened”

“Not your fault they are idiots” Lily said with a shrug and ran towards the shore. The girl looked around until she spotted a good sized rock and with a precise wand movement she transfigured it into a ball, kickin it to them with a smile. “Since we’re outside we might as well play something to kill time.”

“Of course you would choose a football, a great way to make a mess of ourselves.” Severus smiled at her, stopped the ball and kicked it back.”We’ll end up covered in mud and grass” 

“We play it all the time back home.” Lily said, fondly. “You are just complaining because you suck at it.” 

Remus felt curiosity as to how the two of them would spend the vacations on the muggle world, playing games with other children from their neighborhood or roaming the street while chatting. His parents didn't keep Remus entirely isolated, but they had to be cautious, living in a lonely area and making sure he wouldn't hurt anybody or reveal his condition.

“Yeah, Sev, come on, exercise is good for you.” Remus said with a smile, “It’ll be fun.”

“Whatever” He said, taking off his cloak and putting it on top of a rock, rolling up his sleeves. 

“Great!” Lily gave him a bright smile.

They just kicked the ball around for a while, running and cheering when Lily managed to stop the ball from going into the lake. She was definitely much better than the two of them, the girl had an impressive coordination. Remus suspected she would’ve joined the quidditch team if she didn't find James and Sirius annoying.

Remus made the mistake of kicking the football a bit too hard at Severus, almost sending it towards some bushes. The slytherin made a move to go for the ball, but his feet slipped on the wet grass and fell on his back, his shirt getting covered in mud and let out a huff of annoyance as he sat up. “Bugger.”

“Oh shit, sorry, sorry,” Remus ran towards him, Lily’s laughter could be heard from across the field. At least it wasn't anything a scourgify couldn't solve.

“You okay, love?” Remus asked between giggles, only realizing what he had said until it was out of his mouth. The small blush spreading on the usually pale skin of Severus’ face, made him a bit nervous. 

“Just help me stand up Remus.” Severus said, extending his arm, but the moment their hands touched, Remus was pulled to the floor, falling on the muddy ground. The sound of Severus' laugh pulled him out from the initial shock of the fall.

“You sneaky-” Surprising him even further, the slytherin quickly shut him up with a well timed kiss that ended with Severus grabbing another handful of mud and smearing it on the front of his sweater and laughing even more at their state. 

“Grooooossss” Lily yelled at them. They looked at each other and then back at the girl, coming to a mutual understanding in that moment. “Wait, no. nonono.” Both stood up, each with a handful of dirt and gave chase to the redhead that was already running away from them.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------

They made it back to the castle right before supper, the worst of the mud and grass stains had been charmed away, their clothes were still a bit damp, but they were certainly relaxed. Severus was back to his usual serious look from habit, a part of him wanted to reprimand himself for being childish and impulsive, but he only managed to feel giddy as he remembered kissing Remus. 

They said their goodbyes and went to their respective tables. He had a hard time keeping a straight face when he saw some of the faces the other slytherins were giving him. He must’ve been quite the picture with his hair made a mess and leaving a trail of grass blades behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anybody ask for some tooth-rotting fluff with the promise of some friking drama in the near future? NO? Well too bad, you are getting that anyways :3

Severus almost ran towards the potions classroom, a double potion period would have been torture, but the marauders had stopped being a nuisance for months and now he was free to brew properly, even if he didn't care much for Slughorn, potions still was his favorite subject, after all. The fifth year gryffindors hadn't arrived yet so he sat at the table on the far left, away from the entrance which meant no air flow to mess with his cauldrons’ temperature, it also had the added bonus of being the farthest from the professor's desk. 

He opened his book on the page for the drowsiness draught while he waited for Lily, he already had some notes on it, this was a good opportunity to test his theories on how to make it more potent, if he had luck Slughorn might not interfere. Only lifting his gaze when he felt the chair besides him move. “Hi, Li-”

“Not Lily.” Remus said and gestured towards another table. “I owe that brave girl a favor now.”

The red head was sitting beside a visibly ecstatic James Potter, she was smiling politely and talking to the boys, but she didn't seem to be looking forward to today's lesson, which considering Potter’s tendency to make an unholy mess every time he so much as looked at a cauldron, Severus couldn't blame her.

“A big one.” Severus whispered back.

“Worth it.” Said Remus with a lazy smile, his amber eyes bright as usual even if the bags under them were dark with exhaustion.

The only thing stopping Severus from kissing the gryffindor, was the reminder that they were in a classroom full of students and had to settle with smiling back. It was so weird how Remus made him feel younger somehow, even if he was only sixteen, he just made him forget about other people. 

After the professor entered the room the class went on pretty much the same as any other day, same bunch of dunderheads making easy mistakes, same boring Slughorn. Remus had gotten much better at the subject, his technique with the knife was still rather unrefined for Severus’ standards, but he was sure he would get an E on his OWLs this year. Severus added the crushed lavender petals and turned at Remus for the syrup of hellebore, but he stopped when he noticed the other was grabbing onto the table for support, looking a bit pale. 

“Are you starting to feel sick?” He whispered, not wanting to alert anyone. 

“I'm fine, just got a bit dizzy, probably all the fumes.” Remus answered quickly.

“You want me to help you to the infirmary?” 

“No, no, I’ll just go get some air, be right back.” 

“Are you sure?” Remus just nodded as an answer and got up to ask to use the bathroom.

He let out a sigh, putting a stasis charm on Remus’ cauldron and continuing on his own potion.Severus didn't really comment on it, as he didn't want to make Remus uncomfortable, but by now he could tell when his health was going to decline. He usually appeared distracted, achy and tired before needing to go to the infirmary for a couple days. 

Severus had been spending a considerable amount of time inside the infirmary after giving Pomfrey samples of what he usually gave Remus. As it turned out, mediwitches learned a lot about potion making (antidotes and curse cures in particular) in their courses before even getting close to a patient, which made for pleasant conversations, but also gave him an excuse to get some other information. The nurse had refused to tell him outright what Remus’ condition was due to medical confidentiality, but she had still explained about how some chronic illnesses, both muggle and magical could have unexpected flare ups, what might make it worse for the person afflicted and how to help. That way at least he wouldn't be completely useless. 

Remus came back looking better, but that did nothing to eliminate Severus’ worries as the class went on. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

The potions class had been a bit challenging, Remus had been feeling weak for a couple days, but the day of the full moon was the most draining, he always lost his appetite and his body would progressively get sore and tense. Severus opened the door to the old, forgotten classroom that they had claimed as theirs months ago, and turned to face him, his expression anxious.

“Are you sure you want to stay here? Maybe you should go to your dorm and sleep...you look sick.” Severus took his hand, caressing an old scar that crossed the back of it.

“What are you talking about?” He said feigning ignorance, gesturing with his free arm as if displaying himself. “I'm the picture of health.”

Severus only gave him a small smile at that “Liar...”

He let out a small laugh "I know, I know…” Remus looped his arms around the Slytherin's neck. “Could you at least let me pretend for a while?” Severus wrapped his arms around his middle, resting his chin on Remus' shoulder and hugged back.

They stood there in silence until he got an idea to lighten the mood a bit. Remus started to hum, softly at first, but then he got a bit louder.

Severus pulled away slightly to look at him with an incredulous expression.“Are you seriously singing a Warbeck song right now?” 

“I'm not singing, I'm humming.” He stated, and began to sway slightly from side to side until Severus followed. “...And maybe dancing.” 

“You are an idiot.”

“It's not my fault you have terrible taste in men.” They continued like that for a couple of minutes, Remus humming while their ’dancing’ took them around the room, until Severus spoke again.

“Will you ever tell me?” He mumbled.

They kept moving, even as Remus had gone quiet. He knew what the slytherin meant and it scared him. One thing was for Severus to see him at a hospital bed and another was for him to know he was a monster. He knew Severus deserved the truth, but he couldn't bear the thought of being rejected, for those dark eyes to look at him with fear or disgust. Remus knew his lycanthropy was going to ruin every good thing in his life, he just did. He couldn't just tell Severus.

“I don't know.” He answered honestly.

Remus expected him to be mad, but he only felt Severus bury his face further against his shoulder. “I really hope you do.”

Remus felt his chest tighten and his skin burn. He felt guilt and shame, but what really terrified him was the new feeling, something scary and beautiful and strange. He wanted to voice something that had been brewing for months inside of him, but found himself unable to do so. Instead he just kissed Severus with all he had, hoping that the action managed to compel a fraction of what he felt.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------

After a ridiculous display of emotions, that Severus refused to acknowledge, (at least until he didn't feel like he would die from embarrassment). They spent a quiet afternoon reading on the couch, well, he read on the couch, Remus just rested his head on Severus’ thigh and passed out until they had to go at dinner time.

Before they reached the Great hall Remus touched his shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, I just want to let you know that I need to go to the infirmary after dinner, I’ll probably spend a few days there...”

“I could go with you if you want.” He didn't really care about spending a bit of his evening inside the infirmary.

“Thank you, but maybe next time.” Remus said, his voice sounded nervous. “You could probably use the time on something else, we didn't actually study today.”

“Fine, I’ll go visit you tomorrow.” Severus said in a serious voice. “Try to eat something.”

They went to their tables and had an uneventful evening. Severus went up to his dorm with the intention of going to sleep early, but in that moment he remembered the small box full of vials still waiting inside his bag. He had meant to give it to Remus earlier that day, but it had completely slipped his mind, maybe he could leave them with Pomfrey... Deciding that he had enough time to make the trip down to the infirmary before it was too late, Severus grabbed the box and ran out the door.

Just as he was about to turn the last corner, He saw the nurse come out of the infirmary with Remus following behind. Perhaps he was feeling a bit better, but before he could get their attention Pomfrey started talking. “Are you ready, Mister Lupin? Everything in order?”

“As ready as I always am.” Remus said without any enthusiasm.

“I'm sorry you have to go through this.” The witch said sincerely. 

What were they talking about? Severus hid as the pair walked to the stairs, and followed closely. He was surprised to see that they were heading towards the outside of the castle, so he shrunk the box he was carrying and tucked it safely inside his pocket. Severus felt a bit strange spying on the gryffindor, but he couldn't turn back now. He didn't care if Remus got mad at him later. He needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you came back to read more of this selfindulgent fic thank you!  
> I hope you are enjoying it!
> 
> Small reminder to go check Moonstar_Child's fic! you are not going to regret it.


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